Six Nations have announced that they are ringing the changes for next year’s tournament. OvallyBalls had an exclusive mole in the decision room.
Six Nations Clown Five: Listen, chaps, I’m awfully sorry we failed to get the Six Nations behind a paywall so that we could destroy the popularity of the only tournament that is broadly watched, but we’ll try again in a couple of years.
SNC2: I’m not a fookin’ chap.
SNC4: Ah, bellissima! Like me, you are wearing a molto clever disguise to our top-secret meeting in this luxury ristorante.
SNC2: Catch yerself on. I’m wearing what the boss told me to wear: blue.
SNC5: Can we just get back to our onions? We have a tournament to ruin here.
SNC6: Onions? Oignons? En France, we return to our moutons.
SNC3: We quite like our lovely sheep as well.
SNC1: Ach, can we knock the tired wee 70s jokes on the heid? We’ve two major things to discuss here: playing matches on a Thursday (a THURS-DEE!), and deep-sixing one rest weekend.
SNC3: Thursday matches! It was bad enough, look you, when the Friday ones started. Working people are not going to be able to get to these matches, or maybe even watch them on the telly.
SNC5: Surely they will just have their servants do anything necessary on those particular evenings?
SNC6: Bah, the British do not know how to live. They eat their dinner – and quelle horreur d’un repas – at a silly time. They are weaklings who cannot stay up to a reasonable hour.
SNC4: Sono d’accordo.
SNC1: I dinna like the Thursday match, but I’m a wee bit more concerned about losing the rest weekend. That’s 5 Test matches in six weeks. Do we not have a small concern about player welfare there?
SNC3: We’ve not got a huge squad to field from the valleys.
SNC4: È vero, this also concerns us.
SNC2: Agh, it’s all right, we’ll just call on Leinster’s academy if half the squad end up in the hospital.
SNC6: Eh ben oui, we have many teams in the Top14, and perhaps we can bend the rules on players being called up.
SNC5: No worries here either, chaps … heh, heh: and chapesses. So is it all settled, then?
SNCs 1, 3 and 4 (simultaneously): Fuck off / vaffanculo.
SNC5: Perhaps I have not yet properly explained the emoluments available to those who agree to these proposals.
[whispers]
All: Crack on!
Ovally Balls 
It’s going to extra time! Equal numbers of tries scored, so we could end up with a penalty shoot-out.
LikeLike
First half of extra time over, with no scores.
LikeLike
All sounds very exciting.
LikeLike
Penalty shoot-out! Sharks replaced Mapimpi with their 21 with about 30 secs to go.
LikeLike
Getting very nervous. Crowley has already missed a couple of sitters in this match.
LikeLike
Hendrickse nails his and then gets told off for sledging Crowley as he’s preparing to kick. Crowley only just makes it from in front of the posts.
LikeLike
Scannell misses! 2-1 to Sharks.
LikeLike
Next 2 kicks successful.
LikeLike
Hendrickse slots his further kick and now there are more shenanigans as he is ‘cramping up’ just next to the kicking position. Ref has told Crowley to wait.
LikeLike
He’s made it! It looked like it was curving off waaaay to the left, but then turned back in.
LikeLike
Other Hendrickse and Scannell make it, so it’s down to the next kick….
Sharks’ behaviour is disgraceful.
LikeLike
Sharks’ 14-year-old has made it, so they have won.
LikeLike
Just watched the highlights, that was a hell of a kick by Murray.
I was very confused by the comms talking about Bradley Davies – I was trying to work out why a Welsh lock would be taking a kick.
LikeLike
The Welsh Bradley Davies could have ended up taking one in 2009 if Martyn Williams hadn’t missed.
LikeLike
Had family round for dinner (non-rugby side) so missed the Sharks-Munster match, tuning in during the penalty shootout. Hendrikse’s shenanigans were cringeworthy and the ref should have told him and the physio to do one. The indignant shrieking down here when Nick White collapsed in a heap when Faf made grazing contact with his ‘tache was bad, but luckily the majority of SA fans have criticized Hendrikse for this shit show.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Crowley has already missed a couple of sitters in this match
Playing with strapped ribs since early in the Benetton game – limitd in movement etc
LikeLike
the majority of SA fans have criticized Hendrikse
I actually missed the game (Killarney Bikefest called) and only really seen highlights of the tries and bits of the shoot-out malarkey
Good to hear it was mostly condemned – as ever a loud minority seemed to appear on social media to claim it was justified due to “reasons”
LikeLike
Lancaster back in Ireland
LikeLike
Good “get” for Connacht – they’ve a good batch of younger players and Lancaster has that rep of moving them along
Shane Jennings (yep, another one), Hugh Gavin.Cathal Forde, Matthew Devine – they’ve all kind of stalled
LikeLike
Stalling isn’t what you want from a Lancadter.
LikeLike
Lancaster, even.
LikeLike
Now I’m trying to think what ‘a Giant Lancaster’ meant back on AoD. And whether that was one from Deebee.
LikeLike
I wasn’t the source of the, er, Giant Lancaster, stalling or otherwise.
Wink-Gate continues apace down here, with even Sharks supporters now saying they’ll back the Bulls in the semi (a non-Lancaster one), with others insisting it’s either a big joke, no harm done, nothing to see here, or that everyone does it, so it’s okay.
Every sport in the modern era is on a knife edge of decency and decorum, and rugby is no different, with deliberate obstruction, holding players in at mauls, constant offsides, gaming the scrums, constant chirping, celebrating penalties or turnovers like you’ve won the World Cup etc etc (hello England!). Cricket has had eveything from Bodyline to ‘mental disintegration’ sledging by the Aussies (and then everyone else) Sandpapergate, Athers grit in his pocket, bottletop scuffing of the ball and throwing matches (hello Hansie!); football exists, seemingly to allow the richest young men (not in the women’s game) on the planet to hurl abuse at refs, each other, fans and staff, all the while hurling themselves at the turf for no apparent reason at all, only to emerge unscathed seconds later; cycling has/had doping issues disguised as ‘incremental gains’ from memory; whilst Olympic sports from track and field to the pool and elsewhere are awash with drugs and cheating. Let’s not even think about boxing’s murky world.
Does it make it any easier to shrug and walk away? No. No, it doesn’t. I personally thought it was, at best, tacky, and at worst, borderline cheating. I was relieved that Crowley slotted his kick and felt the ref should have got rid of Hendrikse a lot faster than he did. I reckon most neutrals here will support the Bulls just on that basis on Saturday and also hope that Glasgow pull off a smash and grab in Dublin to set up a repeat of last year’s Final.
LikeLiked by 3 people
@Deebee – Sorry for mistaking you for someone who would make/have/exhibit a Giant Lancaster.
“with even Sharks supporters now saying they’ll back the Bulls”
Which set of supporters in SA would find this hardest? My limited understanding of rugby down there would be that Lions have the ‘local’ rivalry, Stormers perhaps the historical success based one and Sharks are playing in the game? I guess perhaps most people just back any South African team if there one is out?
LikeLiked by 1 person
back on AoD
Saw Oldham got back into the EFL – reminded me of “Our Terry” (OT) a former denizen of these pages
And recently, something cropped up somewhere about the French onion sellers of years gone by and Daffodane came to mind – he once told some tale about having nightmares about “Sionny Nionyn” (Johnny Onion)
LikeLiked by 1 person
CMW, pretty much everyone loathes the Sharks because of their chequebook approach to building sides. They’ve plundered the Lions for years and before that, Free State Cheetahs and the Eastern Cape sides. Also their fans are whiny and entitled. The Bulls are everyone’s pantomime villains, with their, frankly, bovine approach to rugby over the years, but actually have some very smart players. Loftus is an absolute cauldron on match days.
The Stormers region produces the best schools sides and more Boks than anywhere else and has the most trophies, but their fans are also quite entitled as a result. The Big Three all treat the Lions with a mixture of contempt and pity (not sure which is worse) even when we’re playing well. Which isn’t often.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Wondered about Our Terry when Rugby League’s attitude to high tackles came up the other day. I think Mr Iks may have been more the Sioni Winwns man though I could be wrong. I took an onion with a scary face to London off the back of it. Daff I think of for ‘Yodelling’ and pirates – and arguing with another Welshman whose name escapes me. And I mainly think of Yos for putting a Pembrokeshire ice-cream van owner in his list of five greatest ‘Talians.
LikeLiked by 2 people
@Deebee – Thanks for the rundown. Nothing there to change my position which is that I support the Lions out of the four. Basically because you support them (couldn’t have TomP lording it over you with his adopted Bulls) and I’m an inveterate supporter of underdogs anyway. Bit of a shame that the Lions insist on trying to make themselves direct rivals of all the Welsh teams in the bottom half mind, but we are where we are.
LikeLiked by 1 person
list of five greatest ‘Talians
Worked with a lad from Redcar years ago – reckoned Chris Rea’s family made the best ice cream in the NE. They had an old school Italian cafe – Greystones just south of Dublin has one still….
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for correcting my Welsh – Google translate tells me that “nionyn” is the singular, and “winwns” is plural …
and I thought Irish plurals could be “unexpected” – bean = woman (as in banshee – bean sidhe) but mna = women
LikeLike
My mum knew the Pembrokeshire ice-cream guy (he wasn’t just a van man, he made the stuff as well I think) as his grandchildren went to both the primary and secondary schools that she was involved with so I used to have to wait in carparks on the coast path while she chatted to him. And then there he was on AoD in a list with Sergio Parisse and Robert De Niro or whoever (can’t actually remember who else was on it, but it was very funny).
I had to check the Welsh – I knew it was wrong, but would have got it slightly wrong myself in a different way, but then I have a feeling that it might always have been slightly wrong on AoD whether for comic effect or otherwise who can say…
LikeLike
I support the Lions
As should everybody here. We could double the crowd size at Ellis Park. And more. The ‘Jukskei Derby’ (the stream separating Joburg and Pretoria) was always a pretty brutal affair, pitting the farmers from Pretoria and north against the miners and factory workers from Joburg and environs. The Bulls have had the better of those for years (as have the Stormers), but it’s still fun to take the piss whenever we do get a win over one of the other big sides.
The Lions have a massive problem in that they own Ellis Park, which is in one of the worst parts of Joburg, with little sign of the city or provincial government giving enough of a shit to clean it up to attract investment and fans into the area, which it desperately needs. If they sold it, they probably wouldn’t get much for it and would then have to find another stadium. It would be great if they could use the French model of renting a stadium for very little as a means of being part of the community, but local stadia here aren’t owned by the council.
A possible veune would be the Wanderers Cricket ground, with a 34,000 capacity and much easier to get to (and safer) than Ellis Park. They played a couple of warm up matches prior to 2010 FIFA World CUp there, and it worked, so don’t see why not, except for the contracual obligations around Ellis Park – if it does get sold, Joburg would never host a major rugby Test again and the unions depend on that money.
LikeLike
Best ice cream I ever ate was on the Isle of Man. Middle of summer, just the one jersey and one coat, pissing with rain on the beach, but fuck it, when you’re on the beach, you’ve got to have ice cream. My lad thought I was mad, which is possible, but it was delicious. That and the Manx Kippers, wold go back for either.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ireland Men’s Squad – Summer Tour 2025
Player/Club/Province/Caps
Forwards (18):
Tom Ahern (Shannon/Munster)*
Ryan Baird (Dublin University/Leinster)(27)
Finlay Bealham (Corinthians/Connacht)(51)
Jack Boyle (UCD/Leinster)(2)
Thomas Clarkson (Dublin University/Leinster)(6)
Gavin Coombes (Young Munster/Munster)(2)
Max Deegan (Lansdowne/Leinster)(2)
Cormac Izuchukwu (Ballynahinch/Ulster)(1)
Alex Kendellen (UCC/Munster)*
Gus McCarthy (UCD/Leinster)(4)
Paddy McCarthy (Dublin University/Leinster)*
Michael Milne (UCD/Munster)*
Darragh Murray (Buccaneers/Connacht)*
Tom O’Toole (Ballynahinch/Ulster)(16)
Cian Prendergast (UCD/Connacht)(4)
Stephen Smyth (Old Wesley/Leinster)*
Tom Stewart (Ballynahinch/Ulster)(2)
Nick Timoney (Banbridge/Ulster)(3)
Backs (14):
Shayne Bolton (Connacht)*
Craig Casey (Shannon/Munster)(captain)(18)
Jack Crowley (Cork Constitution/Munster)(24)
Nathan Doak (Banbridge/Ulster)*
Ciaran Frawley (UCD/Leinster)(8)
Hugh Gavin (Galwegians/Connacht)*
Stuart McCloskey (Bangor/Ulster)(19)
Ben Murphy (Clontarf/Connacht)*
Calvin Nash (Young Munster/Munster)(10)
Jimmy O’Brien (Naas/Leinster)(8)
Tommy O’Brien (UCD/Leinster)*
Jamie Osborne (Naas/Leinster)(7)
Sam Prendergast (Lansdowne/Leinster)(8)
Jacob Stockdale (Lurgan/Ulster)(38)
Training Panellists:
James McNabney (City of Armagh/Ulster)*
Jude Postlethwaite (City of Armagh/Ulster)*
Zac Ward (Ballynahinch/Ulster)*
*denotes uncapped
LikeLike
When you suddenly realise Clarkson and McCarthy have more caps than Coombes….
Good to see Hugh Gavin, Kendellen, Milne,
Surprised: in – Smyth; out- Postlethwaite, Hodnett
LikeLike
Also McCann, Barron (L)
LikeLike
Trisk – Postlethwaite’s on the training list. Thought McCann was on the Lions tour, but you are right (as usual): he isn’t!
Anyway, it’s a much more diverse list than we’re used to, and I hope they do well. Am slightly confused as POC is mentioned as the interim head coach of the men’s team, and I thought Easterby had taken that spot? Think I prefer POC anyway!
LikeLike
Should be a well rested squad after Saturday.
LikeLike
@thaum
Easterby waltzed off with the Lions (B&I type not Deebee’s version)
Which didn’t look good in terms of the priority the tour was getting
In terms of players, better balance in there but still a bit of the case that provincial starters are overlooked for B category Leinster players.
LikeLike
Quick question: How the hell do you pronounce Caoilfhionn?
LikeLike
Jim
LikeLiked by 3 people
C’way -linn or Cail-inn
“fh” is silent – in Irish ‘h’ indicates a lenited or mutated consonant (m -> mh = w , b–> bh = v, c–>ch = German Ch, t or s –> sh / th = h, p –> ph = f, and f –> fh just disappears)
Plus vowels are all short….
LikeLiked by 1 person
Older Irish used a dot over the letter to indicate the lenition/mutation – I think it makes more sense, easier to read, cleaner
LikeLike
Thanks Trisk – think I’ll go with Jim, as well. I had thought it may be Bob, but Jim makes more sense.
LikeLike
Only (well known) Caoilfhionn I can think of outside of Ireland is the barrister Caoilfhionn Gallagher KC
LikeLike
So it’s like Caelan?
How do you spell Doris in proper Irish? :-D
LikeLike
@thaum – near enough same name
Stem “caol” = slender
As for Doris – it’s an anglicisation of the surname Ó Dubhruis – dervied from “dubh” meaning “black”
Our Scottish contingent will recognise it from “sgian dubh” (or sgian dhú) the wee knife you stick down the top of your sock
LikeLiked by 1 person
Unlike the GAA – IRFU don’t ask you to render your name “as gaeilge”
LikeLike
Good job – wonder how Bundee Aki would translate…
LikeLiked by 2 people
Well, GAA do have that problem – trying to find a gaelicised version of names that aren’t from that ‘cultural’ background
LikeLike