Six Nations have announced that they are ringing the changes for next year’s tournament. OvallyBalls had an exclusive mole in the decision room.
Six Nations Clown Five: Listen, chaps, I’m awfully sorry we failed to get the Six Nations behind a paywall so that we could destroy the popularity of the only tournament that is broadly watched, but we’ll try again in a couple of years.
SNC2: I’m not a fookin’ chap.
SNC4: Ah, bellissima! Like me, you are wearing a molto clever disguise to our top-secret meeting in this luxury ristorante.
SNC2: Catch yerself on. I’m wearing what the boss told me to wear: blue.
SNC5: Can we just get back to our onions? We have a tournament to ruin here.
SNC6: Onions? Oignons? En France, we return to our moutons.
SNC3: We quite like our lovely sheep as well.
SNC1: Ach, can we knock the tired wee 70s jokes on the heid? We’ve two major things to discuss here: playing matches on a Thursday (a THURS-DEE!), and deep-sixing one rest weekend.
SNC3: Thursday matches! It was bad enough, look you, when the Friday ones started. Working people are not going to be able to get to these matches, or maybe even watch them on the telly.
SNC5: Surely they will just have their servants do anything necessary on those particular evenings?
SNC6: Bah, the British do not know how to live. They eat their dinner – and quelle horreur d’un repas – at a silly time. They are weaklings who cannot stay up to a reasonable hour.
SNC4: Sono d’accordo.
SNC1: I dinna like the Thursday match, but I’m a wee bit more concerned about losing the rest weekend. That’s 5 Test matches in six weeks. Do we not have a small concern about player welfare there?
SNC3: We’ve not got a huge squad to field from the valleys.
SNC4: È vero, this also concerns us.
SNC2: Agh, it’s all right, we’ll just call on Leinster’s academy if half the squad end up in the hospital.
SNC6: Eh ben oui, we have many teams in the Top14, and perhaps we can bend the rules on players being called up.
SNC5: No worries here either, chaps … heh, heh: and chapesses. So is it all settled, then?
SNCs 1, 3 and 4 (simultaneously): Fuck off / vaffanculo.
SNC5: Perhaps I have not yet properly explained the emoluments available to those who agree to these proposals.
[whispers]
All: Crack on!
Ovally Balls 
Japan in full flight are a sight to behold.
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Yes, they’re a joy to watch.
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Okay. Wales are dire.
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And to think I had Wales by 7 on the ‘Bru.
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Did the Wales 7 just punch someone?
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Now THAT’s a straight red.
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But it isn’t!
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Maybe because it was a no arms tackle? Yellow.
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It was shoulder to head with a fuckload of force.
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Shot at goal to win! Nae pressure then.
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Oh dear, Jarrod Evans (why on?) with the match-winning or -losing kick.
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I can’t believe Wales squeaked that by a point.
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And it goes over in a very wobbly fashion! Celebrations!
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Wales win! Didn’t deserve to, but still. Only NZ and SA next.
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Not sure Wales really deserved that, but someone here is very happy.
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Surprise! Warbs picks a Welsh back rower as MOM.
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Right, time to split my attention. France vs Fiji on Big TV, Ireland vs Aussies on laptop. Just glad our Fitba’ side is rubbish, so I won’t have to watch them lose to Greece (which they currently doing, of course).
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I’m t’opposite BB, bit more interested in watching the Aussies get beat.
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Dinner about to be served at an inconvenient time! Mustn’t complain, obvs.
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TRY Hansen!
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Try France!
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It takes France almost the exact same amount of time for France to score, as Ireland. Depoortere over just after 5mins.
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Hansen in again!
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Hansen scores the same try twice.
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Fiji are losing their 14 to a yellow, head contact in a tackle. Off with a review.
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Bad guys score.
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Ollivon scores for France, off a pass from Bielle-Biarrey. Still had a lot to do, from 10m+ out. 21-0 in as many minutes.
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Aki replacing an injured McCloskey. Bugger!
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Hansen in for the hat-trick!
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Hansen scores a different try this time.
Ravouvou breaks the line in Paris and scores next to the posts. Lucu runs smack into the post trying to stop him. 21-7.
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That was a stupid penalty for Ireland to concede, at that maul.
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Baddies score again in the 40th minute.
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Fiji score just before half time, Muntz offloads as he’s tackled and Ravutaumada dives over to score. 21-14 at oranges.
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Still grumpy as. Proper shit-off of the Dragons vs Zebre kind. Well done Jarrod though.
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Honestly, I thought Jarrod taking the kick was a huge mistake. But he did it!
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POM in the stands with a duncher and a Guinness.
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Fiji right back in it!
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Fiji open the second half with Wainiqolo scoring in the corner, overcoming 2 defenders in the process. It’s converted – all square 21-all.
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Timoney on. Someone to cheer for!
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France just mauled 20m+ up field, but somehow Bill Mata appeared with the ball at the end of it and started running back the other way.
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@Thaum – I felt that Jarrod would probably get it – and certainly your kicker should be backing themself to get it – so it was the right decision even if he missed. Obviously the circumstances with him just having come on meant it was asking a lot, but I wouldn’t have criticised them if it had gone wrong.
Pleased with the win just because it resets the count of losses so it can only be back up to seven by the end of the Six Nations. Obviously it will help a bit with confidence, but unfortunately the next two fixtures (something I would certainly be critical of the WRU for) will reverse any gains on that front.
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How did Doris hold onto that ball??
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Clyde – he turned down a slightly earlier one, rightly I thought.
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Prendergast has been watching George Ford.
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Prendergast with a DG!
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TRY O’Brien!
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Oh, maybe not. Something’s being checked.
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Knock-on by Aus first, then Ireland. Not sure why it doesn’t stand since it was not Ireland’s original fault.
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@Thaum – He turned down the one from the yellow card high tackle which was a lot further out and I wouldn’t have backed him to get. That penalty could have been a lot closer though, Tomos W was desperately claiming that Japan killed the ball at the ruck where play stopped rather than going back to the high tackle and it looked like he perhaps had a case and the ref maybe just made the easy decision. I tend to find myself siding against that referee though, I think he had an OK game today but his manner irritates the shit out of me.
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