Six Nations have announced that they are ringing the changes for next year’s tournament. OvallyBalls had an exclusive mole in the decision room.
Six Nations Clown Five: Listen, chaps, I’m awfully sorry we failed to get the Six Nations behind a paywall so that we could destroy the popularity of the only tournament that is broadly watched, but we’ll try again in a couple of years.
SNC2: I’m not a fookin’ chap.
SNC4: Ah, bellissima! Like me, you are wearing a molto clever disguise to our top-secret meeting in this luxury ristorante.
SNC2: Catch yerself on. I’m wearing what the boss told me to wear: blue.
SNC5: Can we just get back to our onions? We have a tournament to ruin here.
SNC6: Onions? Oignons? En France, we return to our moutons.
SNC3: We quite like our lovely sheep as well.
SNC1: Ach, can we knock the tired wee 70s jokes on the heid? We’ve two major things to discuss here: playing matches on a Thursday (a THURS-DEE!), and deep-sixing one rest weekend.
SNC3: Thursday matches! It was bad enough, look you, when the Friday ones started. Working people are not going to be able to get to these matches, or maybe even watch them on the telly.
SNC5: Surely they will just have their servants do anything necessary on those particular evenings?
SNC6: Bah, the British do not know how to live. They eat their dinner – and quelle horreur d’un repas – at a silly time. They are weaklings who cannot stay up to a reasonable hour.
SNC4: Sono d’accordo.
SNC1: I dinna like the Thursday match, but I’m a wee bit more concerned about losing the rest weekend. That’s 5 Test matches in six weeks. Do we not have a small concern about player welfare there?
SNC3: We’ve not got a huge squad to field from the valleys.
SNC4: È vero, this also concerns us.
SNC2: Agh, it’s all right, we’ll just call on Leinster’s academy if half the squad end up in the hospital.
SNC6: Eh ben oui, we have many teams in the Top14, and perhaps we can bend the rules on players being called up.
SNC5: No worries here either, chaps … heh, heh: and chapesses. So is it all settled, then?
SNCs 1, 3 and 4 (simultaneously): Fuck off / vaffanculo.
SNC5: Perhaps I have not yet properly explained the emoluments available to those who agree to these proposals.
[whispers]
All: Crack on!
Ovally Balls 
Hmm. Sounds to me like ‘GAA’ is Gaelic for ‘Reform’.
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@deebee
I’m missing the context …
GAA – Gaelic Athletic Association (oddly Cumann Luthcleas Gael = CLG isn’t much used) founded to promote Irish sports/games – hurling, gaelic football, handball, rounders – and discourage ppl from playing “English” sports = cricket, association football, and – probably most of all – rugby.
Handball is much like “fives” and truthfully, as it’s squash/rackets without an expensive ‘bat’ – can’t understand why it’s not more popular…
Rounders – gets me… as stick and ball games go – it’s fairly generic
Hurling – as stick and ball games go – it’s almost inherently “Irish” – though shinty is clearly a variation – what would be called “ground hurling”
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Etzebeth out of the URC semi after getting a ‘head knock’ in training. He missed a huge chunk of this season with concussion, and at 33 and having been in the thick of it for years, i really think he should retire. For his own health. I wouldn’t want to be the doctor to tell him though.
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Nearly time for Bristol to get their arses handed to them by Bath.
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Ooh, feisty start. Bristol have a penalty over-turned for some pushing & shoving (would you be surprised it was Genge?).
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This game’s being played at 1000mph.
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First try to Bristol! Ravouvou tidies up a Bath kick into the 22 and breaks to half way. Bristol recycle quickly and Genge pops the ball to James Dun, through a huge gap to score. 0-10 18mins.
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Bugger. Yellow for Ravouvou, for tripping Spencer as he takes a tap on the Bristol 22. 3-10
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Dammit, Randall fell badly in a tackle and has done his shoulder.
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HT Bath 6 Bristol 13.
Reckon Bristol would have wanted to be further ahead at half time. Cracking game though.
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Try Bath at the beginning of the 2nd half, Ted Hill out on the wing with loads of space. All square 13-13
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Arse. Ravouvou missed a tricky grubber into the Bristol 22 and Big Joe gathered and scores. 20-13
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Bugger, ‘nother Bath try.
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Fourth try Bath. Sorry Refit, Bath have been too good this half.
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And another, Ojohmo this time. Bath starting to really pull away, 34-13
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I had Bath by 9 on the ‘Bru and it looks like that was optimistic.
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Bristol haven’t given up. They get lucky with the ball going ‘forward’ off a Bath boot and van Rensberg picks it up and just gets the point on the line to score.
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Bath win. Too good in the second half.
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Am hoping for a Glasgow win today, for the sake of Irish rugby.
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George Horne doing ‘I’m a little teapot’ for his squad photo is very funny.
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To echo Thaum, ‘mon the Weege!
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Would you believe Lowe is being a chippy little shit?
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It’s a bit feisty, this.
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TNT going all in on the “George Ford Is The Wonderfullest Number 10 Ever” while showing clips of him doing basically doing what Finn was doing last night.
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Bugger. Think that might be our reign as URC Champions over.
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Well, that was a disappointing half.
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Glasgow just not at the races.
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Hopefully Glasgow can ‘do a Bath’ and come back in the second half.
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Prendergast doing his best to keep Glasgow in the game. It’s a losing cause.
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I’ll be supporting a South African side next week.
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Leinster have scored 6 tries, but Prendergast has only converted 2? Why did people think he should be on the Lions tour again?
Meanwhile, one Number 10 is dominating in the Leicester/Sale game. It ain’t George Ford.
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I don’t think they’ll be recruiting Ryan Baird as an exciting pundit after he retires.
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Rain in Leicester has turned it into a game of rucksy-dropsy.
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Oof! Pollard just ran into the post at full speed, trying to tackle du Preez.
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You keep feeding ’em.
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Why did people think he should be on the Lions tour again
Not here….
Word on the street (ie gossip) says that he’s brilliant in training – gets all the drills first time etc
But increasingly teams have worked out that he’s shy of contact – vs Aus in the autumn, the Wallabies quickly worked out to jockey on him but not commit, wait till he passed and then hammer the receiver.
Leinster increasingly hide him in the backfield or have a centre sit on him, narrowing the defence.
He’s a good tactical kicker, both for distance and accuracy, and has a good fast, long pass (see try vs Scotland) – if you bite in on him, he’ll delay and get the pass away late. Equally, we’ve seen that when presented no passing option – he’ll dither and get swamped.
But everyone was gaslit that we were seeing the second coming of Dan Carter.
Obviously, “we” in Munster have looked and looked at Prendergast and been amazed / confused etc that he was pushed ahead of Crowley who played in a 6N winning team last season
Crowley hasn’t had the best season off the tee – but suddenly Prendergast is kicking poorly too. But Crowley offers more ball in hand and isn’t a turnstile in defence – in fact he’s a good tackler and probably too keen to get into rucks.
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Bath vs Tigers in the final.
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Not sure about that. Definitely looked like a no arm tackle from Steward on LCD. Not according to Carley (!), so Tiggers through.
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Yikes! Kolisi just got DDT’d by the Bulls 8. Still gave him a friendly pat on the head when he got up though.
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It’s impressive how Andrew Brace ruins every match he referees.
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Third yellow card for the Bulls in one half, mind you.
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Simon Zebo’s coat looks very cosy.
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Refit – maybe he’s the little teapot.
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Leinster v Bulls in Dublin. The Bulls are a strong side with plenty of guts and brawn, but I can’t see them beating Leinster at home.
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The Bulls will just have to try and keep 15 players on the park.
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That would be a good start!
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Leinster dominated Glasgow in the tight exchanges – with the exception of Cummings a couple of times and Tuipolotu Glasgow had no go forward ball so had to kick it away/kick contestables. (throw in Horne playing wretchedly) and there’s a recipe for a Leinster win
Bulls will probably present a bigger challenge at scrum and in tight carrying – and in the past Leinster have ‘struggled’ (as anyone would) when facing a bigger pack
Final to be played in the 80k Croke Park – considering 15k turned out to see the semi… gonna need a lot of event junkies to get 40k
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Yes, the turnout was very poor!
kick contestables
I read that as kick constables.
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the turnout was very poor
in the Heino – they nilled both Quins and Glasgow and for – reasons – neither team put up much of fight (I know Glasgow were burned to the ground)
But too often – teams come to Dublin, and phone it in knowing that there’s a winnable game next week…
Hard to get ppl excited or willing to pay for that….
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