Six Nations have announced that they are ringing the changes for next year’s tournament. OvallyBalls had an exclusive mole in the decision room.
Six Nations Clown Five: Listen, chaps, I’m awfully sorry we failed to get the Six Nations behind a paywall so that we could destroy the popularity of the only tournament that is broadly watched, but we’ll try again in a couple of years.
SNC2: I’m not a fookin’ chap.
SNC4: Ah, bellissima! Like me, you are wearing a molto clever disguise to our top-secret meeting in this luxury ristorante.
SNC2: Catch yerself on. I’m wearing what the boss told me to wear: blue.
SNC5: Can we just get back to our onions? We have a tournament to ruin here.
SNC6: Onions? Oignons? En France, we return to our moutons.
SNC3: We quite like our lovely sheep as well.
SNC1: Ach, can we knock the tired wee 70s jokes on the heid? We’ve two major things to discuss here: playing matches on a Thursday (a THURS-DEE!), and deep-sixing one rest weekend.
SNC3: Thursday matches! It was bad enough, look you, when the Friday ones started. Working people are not going to be able to get to these matches, or maybe even watch them on the telly.
SNC5: Surely they will just have their servants do anything necessary on those particular evenings?
SNC6: Bah, the British do not know how to live. They eat their dinner – and quelle horreur d’un repas – at a silly time. They are weaklings who cannot stay up to a reasonable hour.
SNC4: Sono d’accordo.
SNC1: I dinna like the Thursday match, but I’m a wee bit more concerned about losing the rest weekend. That’s 5 Test matches in six weeks. Do we not have a small concern about player welfare there?
SNC3: We’ve not got a huge squad to field from the valleys.
SNC4: È vero, this also concerns us.
SNC2: Agh, it’s all right, we’ll just call on Leinster’s academy if half the squad end up in the hospital.
SNC6: Eh ben oui, we have many teams in the Top14, and perhaps we can bend the rules on players being called up.
SNC5: No worries here either, chaps … heh, heh: and chapesses. So is it all settled, then?
SNCs 1, 3 and 4 (simultaneously): Fuck off / vaffanculo.
SNC5: Perhaps I have not yet properly explained the emoluments available to those who agree to these proposals.
[whispers]
All: Crack on!
Ovally Balls 
Apparently (from the BBC) the reason for the draw happening now is:
“The draw takes place so early for a number of reasons, including to help fans make travel arrangements, give the organisers time to stage a successful tournament and reflect current form and ranking”
Bollocks.
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Pool A: Australia (hosts), Hong Kong China, Chile, New Zealand
Pool B: Romania, Georgia, Italy, South Africa
Pool C: Canada, Spain, Fiji, Argentina
Pool D: Portugal, Uruguay, Scotland, Ireland
Pool E: Samoa, USA, Japan, France
Pool F: Zimbabwe, Tonga, Wales, England
Meh, too many local match ups (and the third time in a row for Scotland v Ireland in the pools)
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Soz BB, I missed your post of the pools, I opened the notable on this page
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Would rather be copping a record World Cup defeat from someone other than England, but hey ho.
No jeopardy to the groups really, probably more interesting to see how that then works out through the rest of the draw which is inevitably a bit peculiar due to the number of groups.
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Of course you can duck and the ball not get up and get hit that way instead
Terry Jenner style (in 70/71 Ashes)
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third time in a row for Scotland v Ireland
getting sick of the sight of each other now
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Assuming no major surprise, apparently England get yet another easy run to the final while NZ, SA, France, Ireland and Scotland end up on the same side of the draw.
Reminds me when Serge Blanco’s favourite team, Biarritz, in excellent terms with ERC, always got an Italian team in their pool.
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Wales don’t get to play Fiji in the group for the first time since 2003. Had Australia four out of the last five times as well. Messed things up by beating Japan recently so couldn’t draw either of them this time. Reasonable chance of getting the Fijians in the new ‘Last 16’ though.
Seems on the face of it to be a tough draw for NZ and SA (and to some extent France) and a good one for England especially and also Ireland and Argentina. There’s time for things to change of course though certain things never do.
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@Flair – The winner of Ireland and Scotland’s group will be in the other half with England, Argentina, probably Australia. The loser almost certainly plays France in the Last 16 which is rough for both them and France though is followed by an easier QF than some others will be getting.
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Struggling to think of England ever getting an easy run to the final and I certainly have no bias in their favour.
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CMW, have you already forgotten the last RWC where the best 4 ( NZ,SA, France and Ireland) met in the 1/4 finals?
As for an easy QF this time, either France or Scotland or Ireland will face the winner of …NZ vs SA!
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Oops, my mistake, that would be the SF.
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@Flair – England had to play SA (who turned out to be just about the best team) in the semi-final. There were four serious contenders for the tournament and they and all the other teams each had to beat only one of those four teams to make the final. I know lots of people got their knickers in a twist about the QF matchups, but by the same token the winners of those just faced relatively ‘easy’ semi-finals as a result. Obviously disappointing for France and Ireland to go out in the quarters rather than the semis but that wasn’t a big deal in terms of their chances of actually winning the tournament.
The time before England had a very hard draw. Going further back it’s usually either a tough one or a balanced one.
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Scotland of course would have had to beat more than one of the four favourites last time round. Realistically they weren’t going to beat any of them, but they still did have a proper stinker of a draw by any standards.
This time I think any of the teams with pretensions to winning it other than SA and NZ should be fairly happy (yes, some more than others) as it is very likely they will only have to beat one of those two to win the tournament.
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I’m sure that Toonie will be working on his ‘Learnings’ from the draw.
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I’m really hoping that Argentina keep adding depth to a wonderful 23 they can put out. If the Boks don’t win, I’d love to see Argentina ripping it up!
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Argentina kill the blog! Bastards!
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Easy fix, if we were on Planet Rugby comments section: Eben gets 12 weeks off. Let the moaning begin, either too much or not enough.
In more serious news, the H cup resumes tomorrow, with what should’ve been an interesting Bayonne vs Stormers. But too many injuries mean Bayonne already decided to prioritise the T14 and they’ll field a B team.
Several French teams will do the same except Toulouse, Bordeaux and Toulon. For all the talk about French “giants” or “aristocrats”, truth is most cannot fight on both fronts.
Just like the various WCs, the Hcup should include fewer teams. And the teams fewer subs.
Ach….
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Well I’ll begin the moaning, there was an incident that happened in the Top 14 match a while ago, I think it was Gregory Alldritt who said to a referee, “Don’t talk to us about player safety” after yet another head shot had been downgraded.
This Etzebeth act is another example, they really don’t give a fuck, it’s all blah blah blah.
Sticking your fingers in someone’s eye socket is about as bad as it gets, I detest it.
I used to have so much admiration for the player but fuck him, he’s a gouger for ever now.
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It would be Toulon that are one of the teams that will go all out in the Not Heineken – that’s just Edinburgh’s luck.
Mind you, you never know https://youtu.be/A2kSicWLy_c?t=119
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@Ticht – From what I can tell Burger was more or less immediately forgiven without being particularly repentant and the same will be the case for Etzebeth (who may be more repentant, who knows) regardless of how long a ban he got – it seems short for the offence he’s been found guilty of, but in terms of reputational damage it only makes a difference to people who see it as beyond the pale in the first place and that is clearly not everyone. Something that sadly doesn’t show rugby in a great light.
It is hard to know what to say about such players when looking back though – I can’t say Burger wasn’t one of the best flankers I’ve ever seen or that Etzebeth hasn’t been one of the best second rows so I get that people will still feel that way about them. I probably will be minded at times to make a point of reminding anyone who waxes too lyrical about them that they were eye-gougers though I wouldn’t expect everyone to care.
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Astonishing things coming out of the Eben hearing
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@CMW, I remember Aurélien Rougerie being referred to as Gougerie for a short while, but I think that was only really on the old blog – it was his misfortune that the name fitted so well.
Him, Parisse, Dupuy, Hartley, Burger et al, and now Etzebeth all have an asterisk beside their names, in my mind at least.
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I remember Attoub, who copped a one year ban. I do not doubt for one second that he was guilty ( witnesses and the damage to the eye were quite convincing) but it encensed the French lunatic fringe as there was no footage available.
Gouging for me is on par with those who launch themselves deliberately like human missiles on a prone player, aiming for their limbs. Hypocrit thugs!
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5hrs left on my Premiersports sub, so I guess I’m finding dodgy streams from tomorrow.
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In the ‘excitement’ of the Fitba’ World Cup draw, I’d forgotten the Mighty Weedge are playing tonight.
Mon Ra Weedge!
Ah. Sale have scored.
Bugger.
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It’s been all Glasgow, since Sale scored. Couple of really good mauls.
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Speaking of deliberately stamping : a Stormer player (# 19) just stamped not once but twice on the ankle of a prone Bayonne player lying on the Flood. Sanction: a 20 minutes RC.
Only?
Don’t tell us you’re protecting the players health.
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Not on the Flood, the floor, damn it.
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Ooof! Ulster doing a number on Racing, 47-7 up with only a couple of minutes left.
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Apparently that was enough time for Ulster to score some more. Final score 61-7.
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A good Glasgow win away from home. Well done boys!
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Fuck! No-one told me it was Friday yesterday.
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This is fun
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Benjamin Kaiser on comms for the Sarries game is a delight as usual.
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Clermont showing flashes, but Saracens very much on top at the end of the first half, 26-0.
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Cardiff’s kit looks like some kind of American basketball travesty.
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Oops, no it’s Stade in that kit.
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Good start to the second half for Clermont, the young winger shrugging off Malins to score. But almost immediately Calouri just glides through the defence to score. 33-5.
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No doubt Holly Davidson is tough, she just got absolutely clattered by the Sarries 7 and got up smiling.
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Bulls vs Bordeaux was a belter. Great fun, great skills, some fortunate tries and some well built, almost no time to breathe.
Hope LaR vs Sale (?) will be as good.
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Sorry, not Sale, but Leicester.
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Quins 2nd team not having fun against Leinster’s scrum. Although Snyman being subbed with less than 20mins might make it a little easier for them.
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Caelan Doris having a moan to the ref about head contact is a bit rich.
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17/13 at HT for LaR. The young boys of Leicester are not impressed and play quite well.
LaR half backs are both dreadful. Not much left of the powerful team of a couple of years ago. LaR will probably win this thanks to their experience but they won’t go much further in the competition.
Just saw a few seconds of Leinster vs Quins. Now there is pink and there is pink. We call this attentat visuel.
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Quins have found their footing in the game (literally at the scrum) and are back within 3 points, after O’Brien is binned and they get a pen try on 50mins. 24-21
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If Quins had sent a full strength team, they could have probably beaten Leinster. As it is, they lost 52-21.
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Not going well for Munster, penalty try and then conceding two more while Beirne was in the bin. 28-7 on the half hour.
Meanwhile in Llanelli, Bristol are leading and Scarlets had a lovely try scratched for a knock-on quite a while back in play. There has been an extended stoppage for a bad injury to Holz, who is carried off on a stretcher.
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35-14 to Bath at half time and then no score from either team 30mins into the second half.
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