Six Nations have announced that they are ringing the changes for next year’s tournament. OvallyBalls had an exclusive mole in the decision room.
Six Nations Clown Five: Listen, chaps, I’m awfully sorry we failed to get the Six Nations behind a paywall so that we could destroy the popularity of the only tournament that is broadly watched, but we’ll try again in a couple of years.
SNC2: I’m not a fookin’ chap.
SNC4: Ah, bellissima! Like me, you are wearing a molto clever disguise to our top-secret meeting in this luxury ristorante.
SNC2: Catch yerself on. I’m wearing what the boss told me to wear: blue.
SNC5: Can we just get back to our onions? We have a tournament to ruin here.
SNC6: Onions? Oignons? En France, we return to our moutons.
SNC3: We quite like our lovely sheep as well.
SNC1: Ach, can we knock the tired wee 70s jokes on the heid? We’ve two major things to discuss here: playing matches on a Thursday (a THURS-DEE!), and deep-sixing one rest weekend.
SNC3: Thursday matches! It was bad enough, look you, when the Friday ones started. Working people are not going to be able to get to these matches, or maybe even watch them on the telly.
SNC5: Surely they will just have their servants do anything necessary on those particular evenings?
SNC6: Bah, the British do not know how to live. They eat their dinner – and quelle horreur d’un repas – at a silly time. They are weaklings who cannot stay up to a reasonable hour.
SNC4: Sono d’accordo.
SNC1: I dinna like the Thursday match, but I’m a wee bit more concerned about losing the rest weekend. That’s 5 Test matches in six weeks. Do we not have a small concern about player welfare there?
SNC3: We’ve not got a huge squad to field from the valleys.
SNC4: È vero, this also concerns us.
SNC2: Agh, it’s all right, we’ll just call on Leinster’s academy if half the squad end up in the hospital.
SNC6: Eh ben oui, we have many teams in the Top14, and perhaps we can bend the rules on players being called up.
SNC5: No worries here either, chaps … heh, heh: and chapesses. So is it all settled, then?
SNCs 1, 3 and 4 (simultaneously): Fuck off / vaffanculo.
SNC5: Perhaps I have not yet properly explained the emoluments available to those who agree to these proposals.
[whispers]
All: Crack on!
Ovally Balls 
The audio on the stream I’m watching has gone wonky and sounds like it’s in slow-motion, from inside a metal bucket, at the bottom of a really big cave. It has made the ref’s whistle sound like some kind of prehistoric bird, which is very funny.
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Well, after the lovely sunshine in Gqeberha, it’s absolutely pissing it down in the Sharks stadium. At least Sarries will feel at home.
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Sarries by 20 in the 2nd half. Sharks have a massive chequebook and bugger all plan to go with it.
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Looks like the chequebook did it’s job!
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Lions need to convert their chances. Unlikely they’ll be competitive for the full 80.
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Newcastle-Lions not high quality. Both sides blunt on attack and too many mistakes.
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It’s a wild wet windy night in Glasgow. Will that stop Toulouse? We can but hope….
‘Mon the Weedge!!!!
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Munster did well enough.
Hmph – Cardiff v Ulster only on S4C, so in Welsh.
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Ulster’s put out a B or possibly C side.
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Nice to see Dupont back…..
(Could’ve waited another couple of weeks).
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Glasgow robbed!
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Rain’s gone horizontal in Glasgow.
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Ulster somehow 2 points up at HT, even though Cardiff scored two quick tries at first.
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Glasgow just 1 score down!
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Kok inna corner!
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Sione furra lineeeeee! Glasgow are level!
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@Thaum – Karl!
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Refit – I said something earlier about Kok being (uncharacteristically) shitty – he’d dropped an easy pass – and the mister visibly shuddered.
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Glasgow get a penalty and stick in the corner. They set the maul and drive over for the lead!
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Wait! WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING AT SCOTSTOUN?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!
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Cover thine eyes, BB. It can’t be real.
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Have they taken Dupont off?
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Glasgow have won 28-21!
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Dupont was subbed on 69mins.
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WTAF? Last time I looked at the scoreboard, Ulster were comfortably ahead with the BPT, and now I look and Cardiff have equalled, and then on 80 mins get a kickable penalty, but it’s only Callum Sheedy, but he fucking kicks it and we’ve lost!!!
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Look forward to reading the Grauna article about our famous win….
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BB, all you’ll get is the usual people whining about the usual things – largely SA participation, but also the format, the refs, the laws, rugby being an elitist sport, and occasionally a comment on the actual rugby!
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(sorry Thaum)
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Wonderful game yesterday in Glasgow! Everything worked for Toulouse in the first half and everything worked for Glasgow in the second one. Or nothing worked for Glasgow in the first half and nothing for Toulouse in the second one. Brilliant game, fantastic handling considering the difficult weather. Very enjoyable. And before I forget, congratulations to Glasgow. Not easy to be 21 points down at HT and show the grit – and talent- to win the game. And not vs an average team either!
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Os >>>> Toulouse
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The Ospresy may have won at Scotston, but have they won at Scotstoun?
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Well wirtene that mna! Pickeled up onb spelllling mistakse to mak a pint!
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Refit, as a Bok supporter, I’ve always believed it’s wrong for a side to be penalised at the scrum simply for being not as strong. Oh. Wait. The other one!
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Mangled that like an Irish scrum.
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Updates, please! Torrential thunderstorms here, seem to have buggered my wifi.
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Castre are slightly edging out Embra, 5-0. Embra have lost their 11, Wells, after he got absolutely clattered in a tackle (he was the tackler).
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Oh Edinburgh. They spend a good minute on the Castre line, almost driving over but not quite. Then they decide to go wide and the ball’s intercepted as it’s thrown to the winger.The Castre player kicks down-field and they end up back in their own 22.
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Sorry. It was the 14, McCann, who went off.
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Edinburgh haven’t been bad, but Castre’s defence has been a little bit better than their attack.
Half time scores:
Castre 5 – 0 Embra
Quins 28 – 7 Bayonne
Racing 12 – 28 Exeter
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Switching over to the Quins match, but Brace is reffing so I might regret this.
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Have to say, it’s a lovely day down in Twickenham. Bright sunshine & a bit of a breeze for Quins. (Grey and miserable for me)
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Also Fat Farage on comms 🤬.
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Fat Farage?
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Boris?
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Edinburgh 33-0 down with 15 minutes left. Not sure they’ll do a ‘Glasgow’ and come from behind.
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Andy Goode.
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My brain went completely blank and I had to search “fly half gloves” to find his name.
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Oof, Castre’s attack has improved, they’re now 33-0 up. Meanwhile Quins are leading 63-14, Bayonne not helping themselves with 2 yellow cards for repeat infringements.
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Quins have just scored their 10th try, 68-14. Adam Jones still looks miserable as sin.
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Edinburgh 33-0 down with 15 minutes left. Not sure they’ll do a ‘Glasgow’ and come from behind.
Could if they had Kok. Sorry, hasn’t been a proper Karl! on here for a while.
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