Six Nations have announced that they are ringing the changes for next year’s tournament. OvallyBalls had an exclusive mole in the decision room.
Six Nations Clown Five: Listen, chaps, I’m awfully sorry we failed to get the Six Nations behind a paywall so that we could destroy the popularity of the only tournament that is broadly watched, but we’ll try again in a couple of years.
SNC2: I’m not a fookin’ chap.
SNC4: Ah, bellissima! Like me, you are wearing a molto clever disguise to our top-secret meeting in this luxury ristorante.
SNC2: Catch yerself on. I’m wearing what the boss told me to wear: blue.
SNC5: Can we just get back to our onions? We have a tournament to ruin here.
SNC6: Onions? Oignons? En France, we return to our moutons.
SNC3: We quite like our lovely sheep as well.
SNC1: Ach, can we knock the tired wee 70s jokes on the heid? We’ve two major things to discuss here: playing matches on a Thursday (a THURS-DEE!), and deep-sixing one rest weekend.
SNC3: Thursday matches! It was bad enough, look you, when the Friday ones started. Working people are not going to be able to get to these matches, or maybe even watch them on the telly.
SNC5: Surely they will just have their servants do anything necessary on those particular evenings?
SNC6: Bah, the British do not know how to live. They eat their dinner – and quelle horreur d’un repas – at a silly time. They are weaklings who cannot stay up to a reasonable hour.
SNC4: Sono d’accordo.
SNC1: I dinna like the Thursday match, but I’m a wee bit more concerned about losing the rest weekend. That’s 5 Test matches in six weeks. Do we not have a small concern about player welfare there?
SNC3: We’ve not got a huge squad to field from the valleys.
SNC4: È vero, this also concerns us.
SNC2: Agh, it’s all right, we’ll just call on Leinster’s academy if half the squad end up in the hospital.
SNC6: Eh ben oui, we have many teams in the Top14, and perhaps we can bend the rules on players being called up.
SNC5: No worries here either, chaps … heh, heh: and chapesses. So is it all settled, then?
SNCs 1, 3 and 4 (simultaneously): Fuck off / vaffanculo.
SNC5: Perhaps I have not yet properly explained the emoluments available to those who agree to these proposals.
[whispers]
All: Crack on!
Ovally Balls 
Also, Pepper better than Pollock?
LikeLike
That didn’t take long for Leinster.
LikeLike
Why are BT Sport still trying to down-talk the Cole yellow?
LikeLike
Meanwhile in the URC, that Jordie Barrett fella’s not bad, is he?
LikeLike
Yikes! Leinster running at about a point a minute. Bulls need to start playing.
LikeLike
Croke Park is so wide, I thought the medics on the touchline were just standing on the pitch.
LikeLike
Missed most of the match so far due to a poorly scheduled family call.
On the other hand, I’m not sure I’ve really missed much.
LikeLike
At least Dan and Ben will have something to talk about in the next episode of their rubbish podcast.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Well, that felt pretty inevitable from the first 5 mins.
LikeLike
Well done Leinster! Nice that you’ve actually won something.
LikeLike
Congratulations to the Dubs – the league table doesn’t lie. They were the best team over the course of the season
LikeLike
Leinster absolutely battered the Bulls. Ball in hand, they were direct, purposeful and intelligent, whilst the Bulls were ponderous, lacking basic skills or a game plan. Superb from Leinster, dross from the Bulls. The Bulls dross largely because Leinster were a level above.
LikeLike
Spare a thought for poor old Dan Cole in the Prem Final. A few years ago, his ‘hit’ on Russell would’ve made nary an eyebrow raise. Now making contact slightly late on an attempted charge down is a yellow card! You could argue that he was never in a position to charge the ball down and thus it was heinous skullduggey of the worst kind – as the ref decided – but as Max Boyce in a famous skit when a prop was hauled over the coals by the ref for repeated late hits said, “but sir, I was getting there as quick as I could!”
LikeLiked by 2 people
Result: Leinster by 19 or Bulls by 6.
Got that badly wrong, then won by 19+6!
LikeLike
Croke Park is so wide
@refit
Even by GAA standards, it’s a big pitch – generally dimensions are 130-145 m in length and 80-90 m in width
Croker is probably on the max of that. Maxxing out the goal areas makes it look less ridiculous with rugby but soccer can look fairly lost.
LikeLike
didn’t see the Prem final – like old times though with Bath and Leicester
URC final was a bit of a damp squib – Bulls were poor. Leinster were good. Barrett try was a bit of a killer
LikeLike
Abram Adrian Venter called up to the Bok training squad. Unlikely to get much time, perhaps in the Georgia or Italy Tests, but that’s about it, at least until after the next World Cup. Thanks Edinburgh! Looks like he’s found his feet there!
LikeLike
Meaty looking midfield for Lionz vs Poomas on Friday.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/rugby-union/articles/cvg6l4kk6rzo
LikeLike
Indeed! I think the Lions will win by 10 or more. Getting pretty excited for the Tour proper to start, but this’ll do just fine in the interim.
LikeLike
The Poomas seem to have a strong starting 15 but weak (but not in a Leinster/Ireland ‘looks weak’ way) bench. I reckon this is the team that the Lions have trained with all week (mainly ‘cos there’s no one else). Be interesting to see how Sione/Bundee goes. Think they’ll swap positions quite often. Sione, Marcus and Fin can all act as play makers.
LikeLike
CMW, I’ve a bone to pick with you – why did you not mention the England vs India Test series starting today? Stumbled across it by accident on three websites whilst avoiding work. Shame on you!
LikeLike
BB, the feeling elsewhere is that Aki doesn’t have the pace to play effectively at 13 in an international, particularly defensively, so we might well see the centres swapping in attack but otherwise not so much – it will be interesting to see how they go. Tuipulotu is a good playmaker at first receiver, but there is another option there of course with Smith at fullback, so quite a few threats.
I don’t know the Argentina squad this time around so I can’t comment on them.
Deebs, Boan Venter’s call up has all the hallmarks of Rassie sticking his thumb in the eye of the SRU – of course he will follow his boyhood dream and get ten minutes here or there over the next month or two, then that will be that. The Glasgow stats guy reckoned he is around 7th or 8th choice at loosehead for SA when all are fit.
He’d be a 50 plus cap international for Scotland – there is no chance it’s a coincidence in the timing of the call up that Venter qualifies for next year’s 6N for Scotland.
But, I’m sure the ten minutes will mean more to him than 50+ Scotland caps, so good luck to him.
The down side is that it will affect his standing at Edinburgh, as a Scottish international he would have been looking at an increase in his salary when his contract comes up for negotiation around this time next year, already he will have been offered a lucrative deal to stay on and qualify for us.
As a non-SQ player his contract will not be renewed under the new guidance, so Rassie has effectively done a job on Scotland and Edinburgh.
Edinburgh were looking good as a squad, but this blow a bit of hole in it, with Venter likely to leave we have a couple of kids and Schoeman for loose heads.
It will be short term pain before we can get the kids up to speed, but hopefully it will reduce our reliance on bringing in players from abroad
Of course this also means the opportunities for SA players are drying up
LikeLike
Boan Venter’s call up has all the hallmarks of Rassie sticking his thumb in the eye of the SRU
@ticht – well, same thing was said of Kleyn’s call up.. oh, he’s just there for the line out calls or to upset Munster but Jean Kleyn ended playing in the RWC final….
Of course, Nucifora wouldn’t allow Munster keep Kleyn and Snyman – two NIQs in same position – so one had to go and Munster opted for the lad who hadn’t spent thick end of 4 years injured.
So, the secondary effect was to impact Munster and also set a slow burning war as Leinster picked up Snyman to add to their galacticos – but that is more on Nucifora…..
LikeLike
As a non-SQ player his contract will not be renewed under the new guidance
Having said that – with Nucifora involved with the SRU, and seemingly introducing same policies he did at the IRFU – maybe Erasmus hopes he’ll buckle Scotland and Edinburgh with Nucifora’s help
LikeLike
Looks like I’m watching the Lions in Welsh then. It’s on S4C/iPlayer in Welsh only and my hooky stream has just fallen over.
LikeLike
I bit the bullet and joined ‘Now’. I’m sure they had a month long special deal for the last tour, but this one is going on for a bit longer. I’ll just have to grin and bear it through the adverts (at least we haven’t seen Lol inna towel – yet)
I had thought there was supposed to be an English language option on S4C, but couldn’t see it.
LikeLike
No idea what happened to my earlier reply to Ticht? Weird. Anyway! Lions tour underway!
LikeLike
I think they might have overdone it with the fireworks. Gone very smoky in the Aviva.
LikeLike
Pollock’s got an incredibly wide neck.
LikeLike
Basically said Rassie wouldn’t make contact with the eye area of Scottish rugby; we’ve got a process to have 3 or 4 players per position in the system and Venter had the option to declare for Scotland. Also, possibly get a more prominent role when the old guard start retiring.
LikeLike
Bugger, that was close.
LikeLike
Mitchell just casually flicking the ball out the back his hand, while standing on his own try line is quite something.
LikeLike
Sione furra lineee?
LikeLike
Bundee on the 3rd attempt.
LikeLike
Making a proper mess of the Arg scrum.
LikeLike
Lineout’s a bit creaky though.
LikeLike
Swinging arm to the head and nothing. Refereeing’s great, innit.
LikeLike
We would do better if we stopped handing the ball to the Pumas.
LikeLike
Penalty try and yellow for the Arg #1.
LikeLike
Ooh, that was a lovely missed pass to Beirne. And Genge going full Baby Rhino was great.
LikeLike
That was quite a special try by Arg.
LikeLike
Scott Cummings looking pretty fed up on the bench. I think he’s the only sub that hasn’t come on yet.
LikeLike
Ouch. Remind me never to try tackling Tuipulotu.
LikeLike
I love Ellis Genge. Spotting he’s on the big screen and splashing Bundi.
LikeLike
Squidge in the crowd!
LikeLike
I would argue that was borderline from Beirne.
LikeLike
Nothing for that head contact either?
LikeLike
So Furlong has to go off for blood, from the head contact. But nothing with the Arg player?
LikeLike
Lions would probably have done better, if they had stopped passing to the opposition. Arg definitely looked more like a team that had played together before.
LikeLike
@Deebee – I couldn’t see the point in mentioning the cricket. Both sides are just fighting over scraps having missed the main event last week.
LikeLike