IRELAND: No Backspace
A brief, incomprehensive preview of Ireland’s Six Nations 2020, written fast
Having muffed the entire last calendar year, Irish rugby returns to Europe feeling sorry for itself. The normal provincial success continues, but means nothing come the bitter dawn of the first weekend of February. It’s Six Nations time.
Daddy Faz is our new leader and he’s talked a lot of fan-service shite about how we’ll be a pure-running Irish team, ferocious and feral and flames for eyes. His actual vision for the side will get its first public airing this weekend. Many of the personnel are the same as the World Cup – too many, in a particular rather than strategic sense – but this still represents a period of major change.
Yet change is not to be feared. The history of Ireland at Rugby World Cups shows that a constant state of flux is, paradoxically, needed to maintain standards as well as develop them. 2019 was as clear an example as 2007 of the desiccated horror of trying to take a successful side that has just hit a peak and shield it from the passage of time. The only ways to stop a tiger changing daily are death and taxidermy.
And, so, we come to another paradox. Minimal changes of personnel at this time are not necessarily expressions of fear of that which is new. We could have bucked out everyone over the age of 30 – but we’re not picking the 2023 World Cup team in January 2020. We must be prepared to keep evolving in perpetuity. No need for do-something panic now.
This weekend’s team:
Spuds: Healy, Herring, Furlong, Henderson, Ryan, Stander, van der Flier, Doris
Gravy: Murray, Sexton, Stockdale, Aki, Ringrose, Conway, Larmour
Seconds: Kelleher, Kilcoyne, Porter, Toner, O’Mahony, Cooney, Ross Byrne, Henshaw
Johnny Sexton is the captain, and this is OK. He remains our best ten by a way and is one of a handful of nailed-on starters. If there is an issue with his captaincy, it’s not his age or his ability – it’s his captaincy. The key part of the job is dealing with the ref and, while he seems a charming and self-effacing man when in his civvies, game-day Johnny Sexton is an insufferable wanker. He makes enemies of the whistlers and, while recently he has tried smiling and coercion (and looked unnatural doing so), he’s only one perceived affront away from calling Romain Poîte a brainless snaildick. Contrast with your memories of perfect-son-in-law Sam Warburton and the issue is clear.
Conor Murray’s selection is a poor call. Conor of the past 12 months or so is not the champion player of the years prior. He’s not been bad, per se, and his imperiousness may still return. The issue is alternatives. John Cooney has been the most influential player in Europe this year.
Peter O’Mahony has been unshovellable shite for a year and the fact he made the Six Nations squad at all should have been questioned. Overall, his previous body of work makes that the right call – but picking him in a match-day 23 is frankly the wrong choice. The starting back row looks well-balanced, and chucking 21-year-old Doris straight in barely feels like a risk. However, Max Deegan or Jack O’Donoghue should be on the bench – with the choice of which made on a tactical and stylistic basis rather than trying to decide which of the two great athletes in great form best deserve the number 20 shirt.
Anyway, it’s just one weekend. The variable calls:
- which of four centres gets to play beside Ringrose?
- Larmour or Addison, or maybe both?
- the selected front rows look like our best six, but each of the calls could go either way – do we have a best front row, and do we even need a clear starting trio?
And so we will have room to breathe over the course of the tournament. A tournament we can win (we won’t, England will).
Now is the time for experimentation, to a point. But Andy Farrell does not get a free hit. Anything less than three wins is failure and, ultimately, we’re in it to win it.
Scotland by 50.
ENDS
Preview courtesy of EnzoM
WALES: The Dog That Didn’t Know Whether to be Under or Over
With apologies to Edmund Spenser:
One day they wrote his name upon the sheet,
But at night I came and washed it all away.
Again they wrote it in media and tweet
But in I crept, and made the twittering my prey.
Vain man! cried they, to wipe his name away
A frightening act, a cruel spine-tingler
To ensure Wayne Pivac forgets Aaron Shingler
Link to Squad for the 2020 Guinness Six Nations
Team to play Italy in Cardiff:
Leigh Halfpenny; Johnny McNicholl, George North, Hadleigh Parkes, Josh Adams; Dan Biggar, Tomos Williams; Wyn Jones, Ken Owens, Dillon Lewis, Jake Ball, Alun Wyn Jones (capt), Aaron Wainwright, Justin Tipuric, Taulupe Faletau.
Replacements: Ryan Elias, Rob Evans, Leon Brown, Cory Hill, Ross Moriarty, Rhys Webb, Jarrod Evans, Nick Tompkins.
Endings & Beginnings
As Wales sings Po Atarau / Now is the Hour to bid a fond farewell to Warren Gatland and Shaun Edwards, and a jauntier ‘I’ll Bet you a Kangaroo’ to help Howley hop off, the mood in the Heimat is unexpectedly optimistic.
Wayne Pivac seems to have seamlessly sewn himself into Warren’s catsuit, sorry tracksuit, and the players have gone through the four stages of post-RWC grief faster than a Greased-Zammit down a slippurly slurp℠.
Rather than the sour reek of sweaty anxiety, there’s the fresh morning air of new dawns and bright horizons. Players appear well-rested and happy to be in the new coaching set-up, and the injuries are not casting long shadows over the squad, even though some top players and Handsome Legends are missing.
But…
It’s in times like these that Wales can turn in some honking performances, especially in their opening 6N encounters at home, when all the optimism and expectation dissolves into blunt, turgid attack and weak, chaotic defence. Home cheers fade into murmurings about the bloody roof being open. Or closed.
But fair’s fair, a good old underdogging seems inappropriate, so like a Frankfurter in a bap I will settle for some in-between dogging followed by complete fantasy with my forecasts.
Saturday’s Match vs Italy
Wales have opted for a solid start, fielding an experienced line-up and just one new cap. We’ve flirted with North at 13 before and not much happened, good or bad. These days George is a more seasoned and moderate player, no longer the impetuous young buck throwing homophobes over his shoulder for fun. George has never been great positionally, but I hope his experience and maturity nails the position down for the duration of the Championship.
McNicholl is the only first-capper and Halfpenny’s selection at 15 is a wise move, so we should see some exciting counterattacking running from our Welsh Johnny. Let’s hope it doesn’t lead to a lot of turnovers because his teammates can’t keep up.
Wales are likely to creak in the scrum, but lineouts should be efficient enough with Tipuric and Wainwright doing a lot of the leaping at the tail. As great as it is to see Faletau back, I’m not getting carried away as it is still a long way back to his 2015 Lions Tour form and fitness.
Ball will no doubt go about his ball-carrying like a pig snouts truffle, but he makes some hard yards and plenty of tackles. AWJ will hopefully be his niggly, majestic self and lead from the front.
Prediction: a stuttering 23-11 Wales victory.
Round 2. Away to Ireland
Our first away match is against Ireland, and the Irish look like tournament favourites with both a strong team littered with in-form players, and the desire to lay to rest their World Cup ghosts and memories.
Unfortunately, Scotland seem determined to undermine their own chances in the opener against Ireland, so Wales will be up against a green wave of Grand Slam expectation.
Prediction: a brave effort but a narrow 29-23 Welsh defeat.
Fantasy Rugby 1. Home to France
I think France are really fed-up of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory against Wales, and this will be a big match for them. Time to unburden some true Welsh pessimism and imagine the worst.
After a bruising encounter in Dublin, Faletau leaves for an early Bath with another broken arm-bone. North and Halfpenny haven’t recovered from their HIAs and Greased-Zammit starts on the wing with Welsh Johnny switching to full back. Pivac has his full ‘Welsh Way’ moment and picks Willowy Shingler at 6, drafts Owen Williams into inside centre to replace a stolid Mr. Glue, with Bury my Heart at Watkin’s Knee selected at OC.
Big Dan Biggar spends the entire match kicking grubbers into the French in-goal area for Zammit to chase like a spaniel. France score five breakaway tries and Owen Williams reveals his wonky temperament by being red carded for scramming Fickou in the face during a touchline tussle.
Prediction: Wales lose 13-49 and Barry John calls for Pivac to be replaced by Rob Howley
Fantasy Rugby 2. The Miracle in Twickenham
After the madness in Cardiff, normal service is resumed and Wales return to full strength, except for Faletau. Halfpenny and North are recalled, and Liam starts on the wing. Wainwright replaces Shingles, and a fired-up Moriarty comes in at 8.
England are marching towards a Slam after victories over France, Scotland, and the BIG ONE against Ireland. Eddie is basking in a contract extension until 2027, making him the best paid coach in RU history.
After 60 minutes England are winning comfortably without stretching away. Pivac plays his joker and turns to his Dragons on the bench. Dee for Owens, Brown for Lewis, Hill for Ball, and squad replacement Tyler Morgan for wee Georgie North.
My-oh-my, what a comeback. A brace from Brown and a classic outside break from Morgan brings the score back to within one point. Greased-Zammit enters the fray while England are camped on the Welsh 5-metre line with 5 minutes to go.
A re-set scrum and Dee strikes against the head! Tomos feeds Biggar who feigns a touch-kick but slips a pass to Morgan. A step sends Billy V into Row C, creating space to free Zammit! Zammit scorches the length of the field to score like a Welsh Andy Hancock – in half the time.
Prediction: England 21-25 Wales
Fantasy Rugby 3. Highland Flings in Cardiff
After their surprise win against France, new Scottish Player-Coach Finn Russell selects the same team while captaining the side for the second time. Wales are also unchanged.
Both sides are committed to playing high-risk running rugby under a closed roof. Madness ensues, and the game ends 49-all, while breaking all records for the highest number of knock-ons ever recorded in an international rugby match. Finn invites both sides for a celebratory night out in Newport, where more pints are spilled than consumed. News comes in from Scotland that Toony and Hoggy have eloped. Jim Telfer’s neck explodes.
Preview courtesy of MisterIks
On the telly this week (SIX NATIONS!!!)
Friday 31st January
| Blues v Chiefs | 06:05 | Sky Sports Arena |
| Brumbies v Reds | 08:15 | Sky Sports Arena |
| Sharks v Bulls | 17:10 | Sky Sports Arena |
| Ireland U20 v Scotland U20 | 19:15 | YouTube / RTÉ TWO |
| Wales U20 v Italy U20 | 19:35 | S4C |
Saturday 1st February
| Sunwolves v Melbourne Rebels | 03:45 | Sky Sports Arena |
| Crusaders v Waratahs | 06:05 | Sky Sports Mix |
| Stormers v Hurricanes | 13:05 | Sky Sports Arena |
| Wales v Italy | 14:15 | BBC One / S4C |
| Cheetahs v Southern Kings | 15:00 | Freesports |
| Ireland v Scotland | 16:45 | ITV |
| France U20 v England U20 | 20:00 | Sky Sports Arena |
| Los Jaguares v Lions | 23:00 | Sky Sports Mix |
Sunday 2nd February
| France v England (women) | 12:30 | Sky Sports Mix |
| Exeter v Harlequins | 13:00 | BT Sport 2 |
| Wales v Italy (women) | 13:00 | BBC Two Wales |
| Ireland v Scotland (women) | 13:00 | BBC Alba / red button |
| France v England | 15:00 | BBC One |
Ovally Balls 
I can’t see why anyone is calling for Heinz to start the next game. He was terribly slow with the ball at the back of the ruck and has no place. He’s not one for the future, although he did us a job in the RWC. Would like to see Kruis, Genge and LCD start next game, they were miles better than the starters.
Today we had players out of position at 6, 8, 12 and 14. How much does EJ get paid? Because I could pick a better side than that.
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Tomp. We dont do facts or expertise anymore. For that reason alone we’re eternally losers.
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“Capping off a terrible 3 days for me, personally.”
Rejoining the blog can’t be that bad?
Hope nothing genuinely bad happened, Dova.
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Dab – we’re calling for Heinz because he’s better than Youngs, not because he’s good. Mind you, I reckon I could play better than Youngs right now and I can’t pass off my left hand at all and haven’t played 9 since I was 13.
The more I reflect, the.angrier I am about this result – this was a result driven by poor selection and one everyone saw coming (except Eddie apparently). I know he’ll come out with some crap about not preparing the lads correctly but selection is a huge part of a coaches role and he’s consistently got it wrong; even during the world cup run he made significant errors (by his own admission in the final).
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Happy Birthday to LRZ.
19 now, past it.
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Yesterday’s man. We’ve all got Nick Tompkins t-shirts now.
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Iks, well, genuinely bad might be a stretch. Brexit has a better than 50 50 chance of costing me my job in the next 6 months, though I knew that before the symbolic day. Developed a really bad pain in my back, never before experienced… guess age is catching up. England lost and are now crap, as I predicted. I accidentally lawn mower’d a frog this morning which was more upsetting than I thought it would be, if I’d ever actually thought about it.
Been up since 5.
Otherwise the worl6is great.
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Youngs must be knocking on 40 now?
Still think he’s our best 9 but the next 4 games are for development now so we should chuck a nipper in there.
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Dov – if only England had your lawnmower!!!
Hope your job is OK. Drugs fix everything else.
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It’s Wigglesworth time.
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yos, I’ve got a Nick Tompkins’s gran’s face mug for my Bovril.
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@Craigs – I think the frog might be beyond the help of drugs.
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It’s a shit lawn mower and the wrong time to do it but it was a very rare hour of opportunity.
Was a big old frog. We get loads so hopefully her offspring will be back.
….. never quite found the link I needed for a gag.
True story though.
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Evening all. It’s been a while…
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I took a leg off. Most distressing. I’d have taken it to a and e if I thought it would make it.
The cats were circling so it seemed kinder to…. well, i don’t want to tall about it.
Cricket going alright mind..
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Crouch!!
It has indeed!!
Who are you?
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Test
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Ah wrong username.
Also go by the name of Karl…
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Slider!!
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Karl!! Your name comes up (erm) often.
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Good evening, CTP.
Sounds like England lost to Italy or Georgia. France werent that bad.
England had poor selection, were physically dominated, but it will get better.
Find a 9, an 8 and a 15, FFS. Your U20s have plenty of talents.
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You’ve a long back log of innuendo to point out.
Get to it
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Was once cutting out the pondweed from our pond and looked down just at the right moment to see a frog between the jaws of my secateurs. Stopped myself just before I cut it in half, even so I still get the heebie-jeebies about it now.
A headless frog also fell out of the sky and landed in our garden a few years ago. Strongly suspect it was thrown by God, but it may have been dropped by one of the sparrowhawks that live on the stray.
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Those poor brutalised froggies.
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Our under 20s are okay flair.
Yours are champions.
We’ve been saying for years that if you invest in good test rugby coaches, you’ve the resources to do very well.
Maybe this is the start of a golden age?
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Ah Flair, apologies don’t want to sound like we’re doing you a disservice – you were class today for the most part and deserved winners, fix the wobbles in the zet piece and you’ll be grand slam contenders.
I think me and the other English posters are just venting frustration at our failings because they’re so predictable and are repeats of 2 years ago (and I thought we’d got past that during 2019/the world cup).
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Well thought England would win that . Shows what I know.
France looked good in patches and an enormous defensive effort. Dupont is great apart from that last effort
Would be much obliged if England could fail to get it together for next week
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No need to apologize FFB.
And about the U20s, I watched the game between France and England last night. Your boys won in Grenoble with a wonderful last minute try. Your FB ( Hodge?) may not look like the Charming Prince but he’s a great talent. So are the two 9s. Blood them now.
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Johnny no-longer-sideways is quite the finisher eh
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Our under 20s did look good, have done for a while so certainly worth pushing some of those in problem positions through.
I know the 15 was one of the apprentices in Eddie’s squad along with that Saints 9 who’s looked good so at they’re being looked at but we seem so hesitant to move on!
Next week will be a big marker as to whether its panic stations or not – if we put in a good shift at Murrayfield (without the same problems surfacing) and France go back to back good performances then we can put it down to a bad day at the office against a very good side; if we get duffed by the Scots ala 2018 / 2nd half 2019 and France go all self combusting then it’s Eddie Out! time.
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France have got Italy, FFB. They’ll smash them. Their set piece needs some work. Is Chat going to be back?
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Saved a frog from a bucket last year. The kids named it froagie and I assume he / she lived happily ever after
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Probably got eaten by one of the cats
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Thanks chimp
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Hi all, thanks for the welcoming return.
I’ve not been on the blog for what, 2 or 3 years I think. Other than us having moved to a new site, what’s new?
For me, ended up getting a ‘great’ job that turned out to be a proper poisoned chalice. That, combined with a few family issues and seeing one of our NCT clan pass away leaving her husband and two young kids made us realise that our priorities were massively skewed and it was time to do something about it.
So we’ve decided to move to North Berwick. My favourite wee place in Scotland, and 20 miles outside my favourite city in the world. Half an hour from my in-laws, and an hour from my parents. We move in the summer…
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I don’t do smut and innuendo. Tis a lie.
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North Berwick is a lovely wee place, although you do realise you now have an implacable enemy in the Dunbar-born Ticht?
Hope things work out for you Slider and welcome back!
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Just watched the game, France have been starting games like a freight train the last couple of years v Wales and it looked like they did the same against England. The difference is that they don’t have Vahamina and Huget brain farts (and DuPont left his till 79 mins). Basically I think France are impossible to live with at the start but you need to hang in there, which England did but just didn’t get the rub of the green.
This looks like a no grand slam tournament, although Ireland may emulate Wales last year and win through great defence and a talisman.
Love POC commentating today, a few comments when the French were getting a bit loose e.g. ‘don’t let Teddy Thomas bear that penalty, your 17-0 up and it’s raining’
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Also I think Wales will get eaten at the scrum all tournament, we were just holding everyone at the World Cup, now we’re in reverse gear (sorry to be Wales focused)
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Anyway, rugby.
England – stop playing specialists out of position, and Daly is a liability.
France – looking dangerous. Also very well organised: As a mate commented, French defence organised by Shaun Edwards, English defence organised by Shaun Ryder.
Wales – didn’t see match but I guess hard to read against post-Sergio Italy
Italy – 404
Ireland – slow start, lamentable simulation and captaincy from an otherwise legendary player
Scotland – missed FR yesterday. Hogg also not a captain and whilst the spill was lamentable, the fake celebration beyond cringeworthy. Also the constant pick and go at the end against a solid Irish try line defence. You are allowed to send it wide guys. Lots of FFSing from me yesterday…
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TomP, Chat will also miss Italy. After that… who knows. It was a minor (they’re always minor, aren’t hey?) injury to the calf.
Speaking of English defence master, what happened to David Ellis who was France defence coach in the early 2000s? He was highly considered by Laporte at the time. Does he work for a national team?
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Well if France have got Italy, guess we’re relying on us not to have a Murrayfield meltdown against a Scotland team looking to make up for shooting themselves in the foot and the most competitive up front they have in a long time; before we panic.
What can possibly go wrong.
Wooden spoon assured.
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Is there a blog meet this 6N?
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Slider – Funny you should ask!
Enjoy North Berwick. It was a favourite place of my aunt, who sadly passed away a couple of years ago at a too-young age.
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Am off to bed now rather than ignoring any responses….
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S’up Slider. Good to see you again.
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Alas Heidelberg won’t work for me this year, sadly.
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Hi Slider, long time no see.
North Berwick is lovely, my brother lives there. As BB says it is a big local derby with my home town club, Dunbar, Haddington and Preston Lodge are also derbies at school level but their clubs play in higher leagues.
Good luck with the move
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Cold light of day and things don’t feel any better.
If I was Scottish I would be champing at the bit for next week-end.
On reflection – the worst aspect of England’s performance was the body language………………………….
– Has Jones ‘lost’ the players?
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Good morning everyone. How do we think France are looking after yesterday? Dupont was excellent and they were very effective at slowing England’s ball down. Tackling defence did a good smothering job and they took their tries well but also left some chances begging.
The scrum was very wobbly and they looked very vulnerable to chips behind all game.
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