In the exciting battle for the wooden spoon between Ireland, Wales, Italy and England, coaches have not learninged much from their previous selection errors. To be fair to Italy, they don’t have a huge range of players from which to select, and they have played brilliantly; they could and possibly should have beaten Ireland, so we’ll let Quesada off.
As for Ireland, it seems that Farrell has at least learninged that the Prendergast experiment has woefully failed after watching him splash around in the shallow part of the pitch in the first match, and create his own wadi in the second. While Crowley, like his other possible replacements, is dubious with the kicking tee (and by the way, kicking points is only HALF YOUR FUCKING JOB as a fly-half), he’s clearly much more effective on the pitch.
The inclusion of more Ulster players made a clear difference in the second match with Player of the Match being narrowed down to a choice between McCloskey, Baloucoune, Fischetti and Zuliani: two Ulstermen, and two Italians. So of course Farrell drops Izuchukwu, who also performed well, and Timoney remains on the bench.
As for England, the inclusion of Stewart continues to please ABE supporters, and Genge is always on a hair trigger for a card. Maro is looking less saint-like these days. Boris Johnson’s illegitimate son, the Pillock, provides a figure one loves to hate, sadly also because, like most super-villains, he’s pretty effective.
On to Wales. Well. Their set-pieces are functioning well, and I reckon they can beat Ireland. Also first-week Scotland, but not brilliant second-week Scotland. Probably not Italy either, especially if they keep kicking possession away, although possession is often coughed up anyway.
France obviously don’t need any learnings*.
*Have I mentioned how much I hate this horrendous evisceration of the English language?
Ovally Balls 
Maybe I’ll set up a business, Pronouncing Names for Sport Commentators. In which I can explain that in French, an accent changes the sound of the vowel, whereas in Spanish and Italian, it changes the syllabic emphasis, which is otherwise the second-last vowel sound. French doesn’t have syllabic emphasis.
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It could also cover why accents are important. Let’s take the tilde.
año – year
ano – anus
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Apart from the score only being 0-10, it’s a complete reversal of the two team performances from two weeks ago. But for a few dropped passes, Saracens would be miles ahead by now.
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Just seen Finn make an uncharacteristic dropsy.
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Bath have woken up in the second half!
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Apparently what Bath needed was Obano getting a yellow card. The replacement prop shored up the scrum and has given them a platform and they’ve now scored 3 tries to lead 19-10.
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Interesting to see how Dave Ribbans (ex-Northants 2nd row) is flourishing at Toulon – where he is now on-field captain
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Time for the big match – Toulouse vs Bristol.
We’re gonna get creamed.
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Treviso score within 10 seconds.
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Jesus, the Toulouse pack is ~70kg heavier than Bristol’s.
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Try no. 2 at 02:45.
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Bloody hell, we’ve scored inside 5mins?!?!
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Cardiff actually get the ball after the second restart, and kick it dead.
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Belcher scores for Cardiff!
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I’d forgotten about Umaga. Where was he during 6N? He’s been incredible so far.
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Umaga’s just gone in for his second. Missed the first while I left the room for 20 seconds! That’s Treviso’s 4th.
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Normal service has resumed. Jack Willis drives over and now Mauvaka off a Toulouse maul. 14-7
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Oh jeez. From the restart, Ramos tries to grubber, which bounces off a Bristol player back into his hands. He then gives it to Gourgues, who runs in from outside half-way. 21-7
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4th try to Toulouse. 28-7, 20mins.
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Cardiff score again!
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Ramos is human – he just kicked a ball dead from half way.
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Treviso score again! And there could have been a couple more since I’ve last posted, but knock-ons etc.
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LRZ tries to pass the ball 2ft to Ravouvou and almost throws it over his head.
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Toulouse score a 6th try in the 40th minute, shit pass picked off by Gourgues and it’s an easy run in. 40-7
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Cardiff score again! 8 tries in the first half.
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I think we made them angry.
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Bloody hell, Ramos runs an outside arc and gives it to Label, who scores inside 50secs. 45-7
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Menoncello scores off a forward pass that the officials don’t seem to have noticed.
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2nd try to Bristol! Ravouvou in the corner. Only a 33 point deficit now, 45-12.
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Yikes. Van Rensberg going off with a horrible cheek wound. It’s being checked before the restart.
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Cardiff score!
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Ntamack upright in the tackle, before the Bristol try. Yellow.
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That’s Toulouse clearly done. They’ve only got Ramos to fill in at 10.
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Umaga’s been sin-binned for shoulder-barging a Cardiff player twice his size off the ball. He didn’t reach the head because he’s not tall enough.
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Bristol keep almost playing their way out of trouble, then cough up the ball. This time it goes out to Teddy Thomas, who scores. 52-12 55mins.
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Imagine if Ibitoye actually ran down the wing, rather than in-field directly into contact.
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Cardiff scores through young winger!
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It’s now 38-35 after the conversion with 25 mins to go.
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Thomas scores again. Dupont chip into the Bristol 22. Williams almost touches the ball over the try line, but it squirts free and Teddy strolls up to score. 59-12.
Ah well, at least Dupont’s been subbed now. That’ll make our lives easier.
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Dammit, I went to the toilet and missed Bristol scoring a 3rd try. 59-19.
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Ooh, Noah Heward through a big gap and Bristol have a 4th. 59-26
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