In the exciting battle for the wooden spoon between Ireland, Wales, Italy and England, coaches have not learninged much from their previous selection errors. To be fair to Italy, they don’t have a huge range of players from which to select, and they have played brilliantly; they could and possibly should have beaten Ireland, so we’ll let Quesada off.
As for Ireland, it seems that Farrell has at least learninged that the Prendergast experiment has woefully failed after watching him splash around in the shallow part of the pitch in the first match, and create his own wadi in the second. While Crowley, like his other possible replacements, is dubious with the kicking tee (and by the way, kicking points is only HALF YOUR FUCKING JOB as a fly-half), he’s clearly much more effective on the pitch.
The inclusion of more Ulster players made a clear difference in the second match with Player of the Match being narrowed down to a choice between McCloskey, Baloucoune, Fischetti and Zuliani: two Ulstermen, and two Italians. So of course Farrell drops Izuchukwu, who also performed well, and Timoney remains on the bench.
As for England, the inclusion of Stewart continues to please ABE supporters, and Genge is always on a hair trigger for a card. Maro is looking less saint-like these days. Boris Johnson’s illegitimate son, the Pillock, provides a figure one loves to hate, sadly also because, like most super-villains, he’s pretty effective.
On to Wales. Well. Their set-pieces are functioning well, and I reckon they can beat Ireland. Also first-week Scotland, but not brilliant second-week Scotland. Probably not Italy either, especially if they keep kicking possession away, although possession is often coughed up anyway.
France obviously don’t need any learnings*.
*Have I mentioned how much I hate this horrendous evisceration of the English language?
Ovally Balls 
Andy Uren having a good start for Benetton. Thanks to the commentators, I’ve now been told 4 times he’s an ex-Bristol player and they’ve pronounced his surname in even more variations.
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Shaping up for a fab second half!
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BB, I hope Franco says “nice try” repeatedly and wistfully at Ellis Park next weekend.
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Thanks for that, Ticht. Interesting that the wee clip about the Borders was talking about replacing sheep farms with forestry, as that was the reason we moved there! The hill dad worked on near Lesmahagow was sold for forestry by the farmer. That hill now has a wind farm as well as forestry.
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I wonder if our Slade has any finger nails left?
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Ohhh, I’m gutted for Treviso.
Slade can be proud of t’other Slade.
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No …… adrenalin still pumping!
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A lot to like in both teams.
A great warm-up for my settee appointment to watch BB vs Toulouse
wine, saucisson and nibbles at the ready!
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Nothing for almost 25mins and then a try apiece. Bonkers game.
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Lucu just casually slotting a 50m pen 🤷♂️
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This is bonkers.
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Lucu was excellent today.
Well done UBB.
Aldegheri really stuffed his team with the shoulder on Penaud.
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Great game – Willis fantastic for Toulouse as was Lamothe for UBB.
In the first half I thought UBB would lose because their passing and play was not as accurate as Toulouse – costing them precious time in attacking movements, but they stuck at it.
Terrific commitment from both teams throughout.
What a weekend – now for the Masters!
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Sharks injury list for their tour to the UK:
Aphelele Fassi,* Bongi Mbonambi,* Bryce Calvert, Coetzee le Roux, Eben Etzebeth,* Francois Venter,* Grant Williams,* Hakeem Kunene, Jaco Williams, Luan Giliomee, Marvin Orie,* Matt Romao, Ruan Dreyer,* Simphiwe Matanzima, Thomas Dyer, Trevor Nyakane,* Yaw Penxe.
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‘Mon Ulster, let’s do everyone a favour tonight.
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Ten minutes in, and Angus Bell and James Hume have gone off injured.
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Bristol getting their 3rd try after 16mins, helped by Glaws getting a yellow for head contact. 19-5
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And the Gloucester hooker who got the yellow has also failed his HIA.
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… And it’s Brace.
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Blue Meanies score.
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Commiserations on your loss Thaum.
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Oops, a second yellow for Glaws, Atkinson not releasing when Bristol break into the 22.
And we score a couple of phases from the resulting tap-penalty. 26-5, half hour played.
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And Gloucester put the restart straight out. Not going great for them.
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More trouble for Glaws. Potential deliberate knock on and a high tackle as Bristol try to score.
Yellow for the knock-on and pen try. Pen only for the high tackle. Glaws down to 13. 33-5 with a minute to play.
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Bah. BMs score again, plus an earlier penalty.
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It’s 0-15 at HT.
Hope Murphy has some ideas to communicate.
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Glaws score in the 43rd minute. 33-12 at oranges.
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HT text from my uncle: ‘We need to get better at cheating.’ Not sure he’s wrong; Leinster getting away with all sorts given that Brace is on the whistle.
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Fancy having a whip-round?
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Bastards score again and we get carded.
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Ulster now in freefall and on a warning.
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Missed the start of the second half and apparently another Bristol try. It’s now 40-12.
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We might have scored?
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Yes! Not nilled! Comeback is on! Still 25 mins….
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50:22 from Bristol and they almost cock-up the lineout. But they set and the maul has a hell of a head of steam. 7 tries for Bristol. 47-12 on 56mins.
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Yellow for Max Deegan after taking Kok out in the air. Should have been a straight red – and it’s the second time it’s happened to Kok this match.
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TRY Ward!
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Comeback really is on! Ward in again!
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Leinster’s yellow turns red.
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Postlethwaite > Hume.
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Now a yellow for Bristol, repeated penalties in the 22.
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We have one prop who’s only got one functioning leg. It’s not ideal.
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Penalty Bristol and it’s a nice round number. 50-12, 5 mins to play.
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Fuck’s sake. So nearly got two points out of it, but didn’t.
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Bristol penalty right at the death and the final score is 53-12.
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