It’s a mystery to me, the game commences, for the usual fee, plus expenses, He could throw that ball by you, Make you look like a fool boy. As neither Mark Knopfler nor Bruce Springsteen actually sang. But this is it, after months of travel and travails, outlandish skill and outrageous decisions, flashy footwork and plodding power, sleight of hand, nothing bland, we arrive at the knockouts of the URC. The last eight sides still in with a shout, four matches this weekend that could produce some stunning upsets or predictable eye-rolling. Let’s see.
Glasgow Warriors vs Connacht sets the ball rolling in Scotland on Friday night, with 1st vs 8th on the log being about as deceptive as you’ll get. Glasgow are stacked full of internationals and top the table after a fine season, but they had a couple of notable wobbles later on, losing badly on their tour of South Africa, and sneaking past Ulster in the final fixture to guarantee top spot. Connacht really came out of nowhere after a slow start to the season, but arguably finished the league phase as the form side – a solitary loss to the Lions (of course) in Johannesburg their only defeat since the end of January. Eight wins from their last nine, including wins over the Stormers, Munster – and Glasgow underpinning their pedigree, despite the lack of big-ticket names. Can they pull off what would be one of the shocks of the season thus far? Unlikely – the Warriors have a 100% record at home this season and are fiendishly difficult to beat on their home patch.
Verdict: The Weedge by a whisker!
Bulls vs Munster gets Saturday rolling on the highveld at the ridiculous time of 1:30pm this side, when most parents and kids are still at schools for rugby. Oh well. Both sides had indifferent starts to the campaign, but both have gathered a head of steam lately. The Bulls have only lost two URC matches this year (both to the Stormers) and have scalped Munster, Cardiff and the Lions during that run (as well as Edinburgh to avoid outrage). Both home losses were against local opposition, with a perfect record against European teams. A helluva pack of forwards and some good outside backs along with Pollard’s boot has seen off most at Loftus for a couple of seasons now, but Munster ran them desperately close a few weeks back – 3 points in it. Munster? Won six of their first seven URC matches this season and folks were talking about them being back. Since then, though it’s five wins and six losses, which suggests a side still struggling to get on a run and to finish off the tight matches. Both sides are capable of winning, both have the odd brainfart to undermine them too.
Verdict: Bulls by bugger-all!
Stormers vs Cardiff has upset written all over it. But who is the underdog? Cardiff gave the Stormers a lesson in cohesive, quick-thinking rugby a couple of weeks ago and won’t fear Cape Town Stadium, close to Llandudno, a fabulous, overpriced beach community down there. The Stormers got off to a flyer this season, with eight wins on the bounce, bookended by Leinster at home and then four in Europe, with Munster the final one. After that, though, they’ve spluttered through a series of embarrassing performances, their defence more passive than a noun in a corporate training manual, and their attack more ragged than a tramp’s coat in a tempest. They’ve lost confidence and there are dark mutterings in the camp. The Diff gave them the stiff in the last round, but have been mercurial in their own right this season: two relatively heavy defeats to Glasgow and the Bulls aside, most of their matches have finished within a score – eleven out of the other sixteen. They’re difficult to put away, but can also be their own worst enemies, or perhaps are lacking a little on the bench? A wild ride in, with three wins and three losses, but crucially, all the losses were away, with two in South Africa.
Verdict: Stormers by a sailor’s stubble.
Leinster vs Lions: Obviously the rugby world is backing the Lions to slay the rough beast that slouches towards Scotstoun. Not as obvious is how the Lions will achieve this most magnificent of results. Leinster may be battered and bruised from their hammering by Bordeaux, but they still have pretty much a British and Irish Lions side there. Definitely an Irish international side. Despite whispers of Jacques Nienaber stitching them from the inside, they remain a formidable side, well oiled and with excellent depth. A few injuries for sure, but the Lions are without three key players too – and without anywhere near the squad depth Leinster have. The Pride of Joburg ran Leinster close three weeks ago, being within a score until the last 10 minutes or so, before falling away having tackled themselves to a standstill. They stayed in Ireland and have had two weeks to prepare, whilst Leinster have been battling for higher honours. The word is that they’ve taken the lessons on board from that last match and have a plan. But as Mike Tyson said, “everybody got a plan ‘til they get punched in the face.” I fear we’re going to get punched in the face.
Verdict: The Lions will be more brave, brave Sir Robin than Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog slayers. Leinster by a length.
Deliberations by Deebee7
Lions scrum hammering Edinburgh, but both lineouts dodgy. Lions just not getting their passing game together in this weather. Neither are Edinburgh to be fair.
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Lions knock over a penalty. 5-3 Edinburgh. I’ll take 5-6 as a final score to be honest, except Edinburgh get a penalty from the restart. Go to the corner. Lions turn over the drive!
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Glaws v Bath is 0-0 after half an hour and it’s been fascinating.
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Gloucester have been on the backfoot for most of the half, spent about 20mins defending their line and had 2 yellow cards. They’ve had 3 penalties in the Bath half, kicked all 3 and are now 9-0 just before half time. This is great.
It’s Gloucester’s year!
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Bath penalty. They put it in the corner and maul over, but Finn missed the conversion. Glaws leading 9-5 at oranges.
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Edinburgh stretching their legs now. 19-3 with 30 to go and Lions looking clueless.
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Glaws have just got their 3rd yellow of the match, but have still held out Bath and cleared their lines.
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Lions claw it back to 19-10 but don’t look like getting much further.
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Glaws have scored a try and extended their lead, 16-5.
Meanwhile, Newcastle are beating Sale 17-3.
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31-10 to Edinburgh in the end. Just too good for a Lions side that barely fired a shot. Mainly because they were on the back foot for long periods. Edinburgh stay top!
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Jac Morgan has been IMMENSE for Glaws tonight. He’s made two brilliant breaks into the Bath half, only to be let down by no-one supporting him. Somehow they’ve given PotM to the FB.
Glaws score again! 23-5. They secure the restart, recycle and boot the ball off the pitch and that’s that.
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Great away win for the Sharks last night in Cardiff, making up for the Lions. Showed the chasm in squad depth difference between the sides. Edinburgh purring along nicely though! Bastards.
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Ulster (Chay Mullins) finally score as the clock goes red for HT. 21-7.
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TRY McCann! Things are looking up slightly.
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Coetzee binned with review for a shoulder/head-barge into the ruck, with head-to-head contact. Should have been a straight red.
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Ridiculous. Yellow stays yellow.
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TRY Mullins x2!
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Shit! Sharks score.
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TRY McCloskey!!!!
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Unfortunately he’s hurt himself doing it.
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But he’s carrying on!
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Ox Nche has pretty much single-handedly destroyed Ulster’s scrum.
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A last-minute penalty robs us of the LBP. We did get a try one.
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Um, Thauma, you played the Bulls, not the Sharks. The replacement loosehead was Alu Tshakweni, not Ox. Bulls did what Bulls do, which is good enough at home, at altitude in scorching heat, but the forward-based bashing won’t get them them very far in the latter stages or the Champions Cup.
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My dad’s going to Bristol v Exeter later, I’ll see if I can spot him in the crowd.
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Pollock’s gotten rid of the cornrows.
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Deebee – oh. I did know it was the Bulls, really!
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Tshakweni is a new one for us to worry about.
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Freddie Steward just kicked a 50m+ penalty.
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Thauma, you may want to take a peek at Ntuthuko Mchunu, the Stormers emerging loosehead. Played number eight in his earlier days and just scored a lovely try. Scarlets have conceded a couple of scrum penalties already, but have scored a couple of lovely tries too 19-14 to thd Stormers after 32 minutes.
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26-14 Stormers almost becomes 26-19 with the Stormers wide defence once more non-existent. Three weeks in a row now.
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52-40 in the end in Cape Town. Scarlets played some lovely, intelligent rugby, but ultimately got bullied at the scrums a bit and couldnt keep pace when it counted
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First points to Bristol! Best part of 20mins camped in Exeter’s 22, nearly getting somewhere before coughing up the ball and starting again. Then Randall throws a long pass to Ibitoye, a little foot shuffle and he’s in the corner, 7-0.
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Genge just put in a chip from the edge of the Exeter 22 and almost got to it before it went dead.
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Refit – you’ll love this! Andrew Brace has just been completely clobbered. It’s very funny.
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The mid-match chats they’ve had with Baxter and Lam are odd, because you can barely see them through the rain.
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Thaum – hope they keep it in the Youtube highlights 🤞🤞
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I’m sure someone will have it on social media shortly.
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Gavin Coombs alleging that he’s been grabbed in the groin area, but the TMO can’t see anything.
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It’s 5-13 at HT. Go Munster!
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Exeter maul it in from about 15m. 10-7
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Ooh, it looked like Exeter were going to maul over again, but Bristol halt progress. They throw the ball infield and Ibitoye gets the jackal and a penalty. Phew.
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Woodburn has been solid all match, apart from 2mins from the end when a box kick slips through his hands. Ibitoye hacks through but is stopped on the Exeter line. Bristol recycle a few times and then squeeze over the line. Final score 20-7 and we’re 3rd in the table somehow.
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Bollocks, Leinster have scored again (12-13) and Nankivell’s gone to the bin.
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