It’s a mystery to me, the game commences, for the usual fee, plus expenses, He could throw that ball by you, Make you look like a fool boy. As neither Mark Knopfler nor Bruce Springsteen actually sang. But this is it, after months of travel and travails, outlandish skill and outrageous decisions, flashy footwork and plodding power, sleight of hand, nothing bland, we arrive at the knockouts of the URC. The last eight sides still in with a shout, four matches this weekend that could produce some stunning upsets or predictable eye-rolling. Let’s see.
Glasgow Warriors vs Connacht sets the ball rolling in Scotland on Friday night, with 1st vs 8th on the log being about as deceptive as you’ll get. Glasgow are stacked full of internationals and top the table after a fine season, but they had a couple of notable wobbles later on, losing badly on their tour of South Africa, and sneaking past Ulster in the final fixture to guarantee top spot. Connacht really came out of nowhere after a slow start to the season, but arguably finished the league phase as the form side – a solitary loss to the Lions (of course) in Johannesburg their only defeat since the end of January. Eight wins from their last nine, including wins over the Stormers, Munster – and Glasgow underpinning their pedigree, despite the lack of big-ticket names. Can they pull off what would be one of the shocks of the season thus far? Unlikely – the Warriors have a 100% record at home this season and are fiendishly difficult to beat on their home patch.
Verdict: The Weedge by a whisker!
Bulls vs Munster gets Saturday rolling on the highveld at the ridiculous time of 1:30pm this side, when most parents and kids are still at schools for rugby. Oh well. Both sides had indifferent starts to the campaign, but both have gathered a head of steam lately. The Bulls have only lost two URC matches this year (both to the Stormers) and have scalped Munster, Cardiff and the Lions during that run (as well as Edinburgh to avoid outrage). Both home losses were against local opposition, with a perfect record against European teams. A helluva pack of forwards and some good outside backs along with Pollard’s boot has seen off most at Loftus for a couple of seasons now, but Munster ran them desperately close a few weeks back – 3 points in it. Munster? Won six of their first seven URC matches this season and folks were talking about them being back. Since then, though it’s five wins and six losses, which suggests a side still struggling to get on a run and to finish off the tight matches. Both sides are capable of winning, both have the odd brainfart to undermine them too.
Verdict: Bulls by bugger-all!
Stormers vs Cardiff has upset written all over it. But who is the underdog? Cardiff gave the Stormers a lesson in cohesive, quick-thinking rugby a couple of weeks ago and won’t fear Cape Town Stadium, close to Llandudno, a fabulous, overpriced beach community down there. The Stormers got off to a flyer this season, with eight wins on the bounce, bookended by Leinster at home and then four in Europe, with Munster the final one. After that, though, they’ve spluttered through a series of embarrassing performances, their defence more passive than a noun in a corporate training manual, and their attack more ragged than a tramp’s coat in a tempest. They’ve lost confidence and there are dark mutterings in the camp. The Diff gave them the stiff in the last round, but have been mercurial in their own right this season: two relatively heavy defeats to Glasgow and the Bulls aside, most of their matches have finished within a score – eleven out of the other sixteen. They’re difficult to put away, but can also be their own worst enemies, or perhaps are lacking a little on the bench? A wild ride in, with three wins and three losses, but crucially, all the losses were away, with two in South Africa.
Verdict: Stormers by a sailor’s stubble.
Leinster vs Lions: Obviously the rugby world is backing the Lions to slay the rough beast that slouches towards Scotstoun. Not as obvious is how the Lions will achieve this most magnificent of results. Leinster may be battered and bruised from their hammering by Bordeaux, but they still have pretty much a British and Irish Lions side there. Definitely an Irish international side. Despite whispers of Jacques Nienaber stitching them from the inside, they remain a formidable side, well oiled and with excellent depth. A few injuries for sure, but the Lions are without three key players too – and without anywhere near the squad depth Leinster have. The Pride of Joburg ran Leinster close three weeks ago, being within a score until the last 10 minutes or so, before falling away having tackled themselves to a standstill. They stayed in Ireland and have had two weeks to prepare, whilst Leinster have been battling for higher honours. The word is that they’ve taken the lessons on board from that last match and have a plan. But as Mike Tyson said, “everybody got a plan ‘til they get punched in the face.” I fear we’re going to get punched in the face.
Verdict: The Lions will be more brave, brave Sir Robin than Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog slayers. Leinster by a length.
Deliberations by Deebee7
Trisk – pretentious, schmetentious, as another rightly disgraced filmmaker might say.
I hate Hollywood films: they are pretty much all mindless propaganda.
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Mebbe kick off The Golden Compass for Frankenstein Unbound, which something has just reminded me of.
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Just watched the full McCloskey highlights reel, and I think my second-favourite moment is the conversion made from an oblique touchline.
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Hesitated to include Tess
It’s the old ‘Wagner dilemma’ (Richard not Robert) – how do you separate the art from the artist?
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Trisk – exactly. I was mesmerised by how he filmed Tess eating strawberries and so on, showing her innocence, and then we find out….
It’s really very true to the book, which in a weird way suggests that perhaps Polanski thought he deserved punishment. Of course there are two villains: d’Urberville and Angel Clare, and it’s hard to decide which is worse. Both are horrible, but I think it’s the one you trust betraying you that’s worse.
I love Thomas Hardy’s novels, and he was a fighter for animals’ rights as well as women’s.
Went to Dorset on holiday – Hardy country – and was very excited to get the chance to visit Hardy’s birthplace, and where he wrote a few of his works including Far From the Madding Crowd. It’s miles from anywhere and only accessible on foot through a forest.
It was a wet, muddy and blustery day, and when we got there, it was closed. I peered at it through the gate. Very Hardyesque.
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Bloody hell
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One two, one two, is this thing on?
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Well hello.
That was a bit of a mission to get back on here!
Terrible news today on Hyron Andrews. RIP.
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WTAF Andy Goode!
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What’s he done now?
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Refit, when they were talking about Union BB having trouble with the paperwork getting players into the UK for tonight’s game, Goode says, “It’s good to know we actually have a border force”
What a ring piece
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There’s a reason I stopped listening to the podcast he does, and it was all him. Pretty sure he was a Ukip supporter.
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Evenin’ Ticht.
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So, the Dragons match is on iPlayer, but only through the BBC website not through the app. And also not through the BBC Sport app. Pain in the bloody arse trying to watch.
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My body decided that it wanted to watch Bledisloe 2 and woke up at half-5.
Brutal first half for Aus, down 36-7 at half time.
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Easy win for NZ, even down to 13 at the end (ran out of subs and a yellow). 21-43
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Nice one, Glasgow!
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Fuck’s sake: Ulster match is not televised! Can pay ~8 euro to watch it with Italian commentary on epcr tv – I don’t think so!!
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I can’t vouch for the quality of the stream (I’m watching Bristol lose rn), but you can see Ulster here https://olympicweb.me/live/rugby-stream
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Bristol getting humped by the Stormers, not helped by the officials ignoring a very forward pass for their 2nd try. Grrr.
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Cheers for that, Refit, but my security software blocked it. Looks like we’re 7-0 up, so that’s good!
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Make that 0-12! (It’s at Zebre.)
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Ah, we’re just ignoring all forward passes today, that’s a second try for one for the Stormers. They don’t need any help to beat Bristol ffs.
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Stormers lose their hooker to a 20min red for head contact on Marmion.
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Then Bristol stuff up the lineout and Stormers clear their lines.
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Stormers down to 13 for a bit, yellow for head contact this time. They don’t cock up the lineout and score. 21-12
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Bristol immediately concede, two players running into each other under a high ball and it’s a walk-in.
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3 Stormers tries now from forward passes, the 3rd only went about 5m forward. Wouldn’t have changed the result, but it’s taking the piss a bit. 49-12 in the end.
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Connacht currently edging out Sarries 38-31, with 20mins. Claw must be bouncing.
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45-31 now!
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45-36 the final score. They’ll be dancing in Galway tonight.
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I am enjoying the Bath crowd booing Hogg when he scored.
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Hollie Davidson awards a straight (permanent) red to the Toulouse tichtheid for a shoulder to the heid. Good for her.
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Need more of them.
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Dupont is now playing 10, TLS have that many injured backs.
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I don’t know why that wasn’t red, or even two reds – or at least two yellows.
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Brilliant from Capuozzo. Love him.
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I was puzzled why it took so long to flag it up, looked obvious in real time. ‘Shoulder to shoulder’ was incredibly generous for the first contact.
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Ha, Exeter bottled it.
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Full rucksy-dropsy in Northampton.
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Yep, pissing it down. The mister is glad he didn’t decide to go.
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Fat Farage is really ruining my enjoyment of Saints v Cardiff.
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Fat Farage?
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Ha! I was cooking for most of it, so I asked the mister if Andy Goode was commentating by any chance….
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